The Ultimate Guide To The Fundamentals Of Coaching
Become An In-Demand Coach & Build a Profitable, Successful Business With The 3 Pillars Of Extraordinary Coaching
Two street acrobats made a living by performing for passers-by.
Their act consisted of one of them balancing a very tall bamboo pole on his head while the other climbed to the top.
Once there, the second acrobat would hold his balance while the crowd cheered and made their offerings.
One day, a young boy asked, "What is the secret behind your act" How do you keep your balance? Do you watch each other?"
The acrobats looked at one another and smiled.
One of them answered the boy. "No. We don't watch each other. We watch ourselves. To watch ourselves is to watch both of us."
It's believed that different versions of this same story has been told over thousands of years and some even think the Buddha himself shared it with his followers to teach them a very important lesson...
The only true way to take good care of another is to
take good care of yourself.
This lesson is incredibly relevant here because you're a coach and you have natural motivation to support, to transform, and to be of service to others.
This is an amazing gift and it is something you should be proud of, but there's a catch...
So many coaches give so much to others that they empty themselves.
They end up burned out and disillusioned with their work.
Some of them give away so much of their time, energy and money that they end up having to quit their business.
The path of the smart successful coach is different.
It's about knowing how to work with the Power of 3 or the 3 Pillars of Coaching:
These are the foundations of extraordinary coaching and it's part of the teachings of master coach, co-founder of Evercoach and co-author of The Book of Coaching, Ajit Nawalkha.
So, if you've ever wanted to learn how to become a gifted, successful coach who changes lives and makes a real difference in the world, you're in the right place!
This Guide will introduce you to each of the 3 pillars of extraordinary coaching.
When you're done reading and applying the concepts in the Take Action sections, you can start working with these proven ideas and insights to build a profitable, successful coaching business and an unbreakable reputation as a world-class coach.
Let's get started!
Pillar #1: You
Based on the story about the 2 acrobats in the introduction, you already know that "watching yourself" or taking care of yourself needs to come first.
In other words, you cannot raise your clients up, you cannot help them and serve them at the highest level when you are not at that level yourself.
This means that if you want to become an extraordinary coach, you need to work on yourself - essentially your mental, emotional and physical states.
YOUR MENTAL STATE
Let's begin with your mental state.
This is the state of your mind. It's about your thought process and your mindset.
The best coaches understand that mindset is more important and more valuable than all the treasures in the world.
Mindset is where everything - the success of your business, your skills as a coach, your ability to attract clients -- begins.
With a great mindset you can move mountains, but when your mindset isn't where it's supposed to be, getting out of bed each morning will feel like a massive challenge.
So, what can you do to make sure your mindset is where it needs to be as a coach?
Start by bringing awareness to your inner mental chatter.
Is it positive or negative? Do you blame yourself or others when things go wrong? Are you always looking for the silver lining or do you only see dark clouds?
Knowing your baseline mindset right now can help you redesign how you think and how you see the world.
The goal here is to uplevel your mindset. When you are consistently in a positive, purposeful state of mind, you can easily expand your clients' thinking to go beyond their current reality and into a space of possibility and achievement.
When you start to bring awareness to your baseline mindset, you could find things you don't like so no matter where your are right now... don't judge yourself.
Our mental state is a unique combination of many factors - where we grew up, who our parents are, our experiences at school and so much more.
Follow through with the activity in the Take Action Section so you can start doing that right now.
Here are 4 powerful questions you can use to help yourself break negative thought patterns and shift into a positive, empowered mental state in just a few minutes. These questions are also incredibly helpful when you're working with clients.
First, think about a problem, challenge or obstacle you're facing that's creating negative thoughts in your mind.
Got it? Great. Now answer the questions below.
Is this the absolute truth or is it a figment of my imagination?
Does this mean anything in the big picture that is my life?
Will this moment define me or educate me?
What can I learn from this situation?
Note: You can find a full list of transformational questions to break the cycle of negative thinking in The Book of Coaching by Ajit Nawalkha and master emotional health and leadership coach Neeta Bhushan.
YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE
Our emotions are in continuous flux. They shift and change from minute to minute and sometimes even from second to second.
Mastering your emotional state -- especially when you're feeling negative or with uncomfortable emotions such as frustration or disappointment -- is about being flexible and just being with what you're feeling without resisting or pushing it away.
You can do this through a number of methods but one of the simplest and most powerful is cultivating mindfulness through meditation.
Mindfulness is the ability to experience total awareness of what is happening inside yourself and in your environment. Being mindful means you can watch or observe your feelings and thoughts -- that inner mental chatter we talked about in Part 1 of this chapter-- with healthy detachment.
This is a powerful skill because you will stay open and non-judgmental about your emotions without feeling immersed or pulled into unwanted actions or reactions that you will likely regret.
You may have already heard of the massive benefits that come with a consistent, long-term meditation practice. Some of these benefits include creating better focus and awareness, experiencing deep, restful sleep and significant stress reduction. Some studies even show that meditation and mindfulness have to power to release serious addictions.
As a coach, cultivating mindfulness through meditation will help you enter and remain at a peak emotional state where you can effortlessly stay centered when you're working with your client.
A peak emotional state consists of 11 key traits:
You can read more about each of these traits in The Book of Coaching.
There are countless meditation methods that can help you get into a peak emotional state. When you're ready to choose a personal practice, forget about what's "trendy" or what someone else says is the best meditation technique. Instead, focus on finding a method that works for you and your unique lifestyle.
The best meditation technique in the world has zero value if you can't stick with it on a daily basis.
Research various meditation practices and methodologies and commit to working with one method for the next 14 days - you need at least a couple of weeks to settle into a practice and track positive changes in your overall emotional state.
When you're done with your 2-week cycle, think about your experience and answer these questions:
Were you able to meditate every day for at least 10 minutes?
Do you feel more centered and calm after you meditate?
Is there a noticeable positive change in your emotional state after 14 days?
If your answer is no to all 3 questions, try working with a different method for the next 14 days. Keep working through 14-day cycles with different meditation methods until you can answer yes to all 3 questions.
YOUR BODY STATE
Becoming a world-class coach means hitting your highest potential on every level and this includes your body.
There are literally millions of articles, courses, and programs about health and fitness out there and a lot of ideas change and shift on a regular basis.
This can lead to confusion and overwhelm so start by focusing on these 3 fundamental game-changers:
Your daily diet, workout routine and how much sleep you get -- 8 hours a day for most people -- are the keys to getting into an ideal body state.
Do your research on all 3 areas and make sure you consult with the right experts so you know you're doing what's best for your body type, age, gender and fitness level.
Most coaches get caught up with working on their mind and their emotions and they forget all about their body state but here's the thing...
Your body has a huge impact on your mental and emotional states.
Think back to a time when you felt tired ill or when you were in pain. You probably found it impossible to think clearly or come up with good ideas or solutions.
The best coaches in the world take their body state very seriously and, if you want to become one of them, you need to do the same.
Think about how you can uplevel your body state in the 3 fundamental factors:
First, rate yourself on all 3 factors on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = awful, 10 = awesome).
Then, go deeper. Look at the 3 factors and think about how you can improve on each area.
For instance, if you rated yourself a 4 in fitness, think about easy ways you move your body each day. This could be as simple as taking the stairs instead of the elevator, whenever you have the chance. Repeat with Food and Sleep.