Coach Ajit (01:30):
I was exposed to a book called Pussy recently by my wife. She exposed me to this author called Regena and I read the book and I thought it was one of the most powerful books I had read recently about women's sexual power. And not just women's sexual power from the sense of sensuality and sexuality, but from the sense of just power, being able to lean into what women can do, I've had really powerful women in my life. Women have changed my life. And I do believe that the women that were able to do that were able to tap into what Regena talks about in today's episode. And I had a chance to bring her onto the podcast. And so I said, hell yes. Even if I understood that, that would probably make this the first explicit episode that we have put out. So with that risk, I want to introduce you firstly, to the book, Pussy: A Reclamation.

Coach Ajit (02:21):
If you don't have a copy of that yet, I encourage you to go get a copy, listen to it, or read it. However you prefer. And while you get around doing that, listen to this episode, there is a lot of stuff that will give you tremendous amount of power. It might get uncomfortable, but it'll be powerful. And it'll be powerful if you lean into this work more and more, when you're working with your clients, this episode does lean into ideas. That may be a lot more helpful to women than men. But I do think as men, we need to start understanding these things so we can understand our partners better. We can understand women better. We can understand the culture that they're growing up in and how we can do a better job as men to understand women a little bit better. I'm so excited to introduce my guest today, Regena.

Coach Ajit (03:10):
I am so excited to have you today on this podcast, Regena. And the reason is because recently had a chance because a friend recommended to go check out your book. And, and I read the book and as I read the book, I was like, why is Pussy: A Reclamation only recommended for females to read or women to read? Why is it that men are not reading this book? Because I was so personally moved because I felt like I understood Neeta better. And my daughter better. Even before she's like, she's only eight months right now. But I felt like, oh, I can see the frame that a woman sometimes operates from, as a man. And it's not my first book, but it's like still, I felt like, oh, it clears up so much. I get so much more understanding. So firstly, before anything else, welcome to the podcast.

Regena Thomashauer (04:00):
Thank you so nice to be here.

Coach Ajit (04:01):
I am super excited to have you here. And I wanna start with, tell us a little bit about why do you think this book is so important right now from your point of view?

Regena Thomashauer (04:12):
All right. Well, I think that we live in a world that is so confused and has lost its way. And I think that whenever you have that level of confusion, it's good to look at what conversations are being left out. And inside of this patriarchal culture that we live in, the voice of the feminine is discriminated against disparaged, eliminated exterminated from leadership roles the, from power from influence. And you can learn just as much about of culture by what's missing as what's included. And I think that for a world to operate, I don't successfully is not exactly the word, but perhaps imbalance the masculine and the feminine when there's this ancient indigenous story, which talks about the bird of happiness. And that right now, the dominant wing of this bird is masculine. And so, because that one wing is flapping flapping, flapping, the bird is running around in circles, which is kind of the state of our world.

Regena Thomashauer (05:23):
And that if the feminine were to unfurl and the feminine wing were to fully inhabit herself, then there would be a balance and the bird could fly in a magnificent direction. So I feel like my task and the task of pussy or reclamation is to create that balance both inside men and inside women, because women don't know who women are, mm women don't stand for their own voice. Women don't stand for their own power. So how can men do that? And then also men have a misapprehension of who women are as you were describing so that once they can really recognize the magnificence, the life giving nature of the feminine, there's so much more of a dialogue and collaboration that can take place that will be truly transformative for the culture. So I wrote the book because I was like, we have to awaken that slumbering feminine genius. You know, the voice of woman is the greatest untapped natural resource on this planet. And the time to tap it is now we don't have time to waste the world's in trouble. Our culture's in trouble, the global warming, there's so many issues that need collaboration between men and women to solve, so this was my effort.

Coach Ajit (06:47):
Thank you for that. And, and I so agree with you that there has been a gap because of whatever the structure that has been in the path, patriarchal structure, as you, as you mentioned. And, and because of that, we have had a huge amount of imbalance. And we see with the rise of understanding of emotions, a little better rise of understanding of ourselves, of huma beings a little bit better. We, at least in our, our reality as, as coaches, we are finding more and more women are stepping into this field because they are able to kind of have that dialogue more easily. For some reason, they're able to facilitate conversation, irrespective the clients, a male or female, a lot more easily. And, and they're able to, to lean into a power that seems like they tend to have a lot more of, and I'm not trying to discriminate between a man or a woman here, but still seems like it's untapped potential. It's untapped resources. It's whatever that is, that is leading us to, to see a lot more women step forward and say, Hey, I can help men or women a lot more through this, let's say, period of crisis where it's almost, it's not a tactical crisis. It's not like let's dig a well and get water out. It's more a spiritual, mental, psychological...

Regena Thomashauer (08:01):
Right, right

Coach Ajit (08:02):
Metaphysical crisis in a way, our identity is challenged. Our being is being challenged. And the reason why I'm so, so proud to have you today is I feel in constant conversations with women, more specifically, it happens with women. And I wanna explore this with you, is that I I'm having a conversation. They say, oh, I don't feel good enough. Right. They go but, but I don't know if I can charge that much. Right. Like the coaches. And they constantly wonder if, if they could, and, and I am talking, I'm like, no, of course you can. What are you talking about? Like, I'm talking to you. I'm like, no, you're amazing. You're awesome. You're doing great. You're great. I can see it in our conversation, but they can't see it. Yeah. Why is that? And what can we do about it?

Regena Thomashauer (08:47):
Okay. First of all, we, we live in a world where women, we share this kind of conspiracy of self doubt, self hatred, self deprecation, devaluing. Our worth women are not celebrated either by themselves or others, for the truth of who they are and the truth of their own magnificence, where I go with this book pussy, and why I wrote it is because, you know, most of the world's religions right now are patriarchal Instructure, you know, Buddhism, Juddaism Christianity, where the Godhead is male. And while that might seem kind of innocent at first, like, oh, well, coincidence maybe. But then what happens is a woman is the feminine is spiritually exiled from the conversation of her own divinity, because she's kind of taught to worship the masculine and devalue the feminine. And it goes even deeper than that. Because if, if you look at what is exiled from most of the world's great religions is sensuality, and where does life come from?

Regena Thomashauer (10:03):
Like it used to be, if we're talking about what predates these, you know, more patriarchal religious structures, you know, they're maybe 5,000 years older. So, but for the past 50,000 years, the goddess was worshiped. She who bleeds, but does not die and gives life. The feminine was considered holy because of the life giving properties. You know, if we were in ancient Egypt and we wanted the crops to grow, it would be the women that circled the field and lifted their skirts and said, may the crops grow as high as my pussy, the portal to caves where worship took place were vulvas, meaning the opening that brings life into the world because every one of us got pushed out of a pussy. You know? So that's the portal to life. So when babies that were sick or elderly people were ill, it was the pussy that we looked for sucker for, for supplication, for, to, to have our prayers be answered.

Regena Thomashauer (11:07):
It was the divine feminine that she, who gives life can restore life. So we have that's eliminated right now. And so women don't realize that they're holy and without that recognition, it's difficult for us to stand for ourselves. And it goes deeper still because you know, when you were growing up, what did your bits and pieces get called? Like you had six boys in your house.

Coach Ajit (11:32):
Yeah. We were six cousins. Umm... pipi, I guess?

Regena Thomashauer (11:33):
Pipi. Okay. And then, but then you knew you had a penis. Okay. For girls, it's really different than that. Like I've interviewed the literally tens of thousands of women at this point in my career. And if you ask a room full of a thousand women, what did your bits and pieces get called? They will say these really funky names like woo woo or hoochie or knish or pancake or Walter Winchell, or who-ha like crazy terms or half of them, they'll say my private parts were not called anything.

Regena Thomashauer (12:11):
There was no word to describe that which is essentially feminine about me. And what happens is if there's no language to describe a woman's depth of her feminine, what moves in is shame because she thinks, ah, if it can't even have a name, it must be wrong because every other part of my body has a name. My toes have a name. So I'm not ashamed of those. You know, my hair has a name. I'm not ashamed of that, my hands, but that, oh, there must be something really wrong with me. If I have a part of myself that can't even have a name, or it has to have some code nickname that no one else has, it's just a code for my family. So you have women that are ashamed of the core of their sensuality and therefore become ashamed of their body, become ashamed of who they are in the world.

Regena Thomashauer (13:06):
Cuz they know that something is wrong with them. They are not fitting into the classic male standards of either education or medicine or athleticism. Like we are falling below whatever the standards for the masculine are. And so we're judging ourselves wrong by our priorities, by what we're good at, what, where we, you know, all things feminine. And so her self-esteem crumbles. So when it, she's given an opportunity to coach, which the contributions of women are limitless, it would be hard for her to ask for her value. If she doesn't value herself, it's why women are paid 79 cents on the dollar that men make, you know, cuz a guy going in for a negotiation, he'd be like, what do you mean? You're paying me 79 cents less on the dollar that the guy in the next office is making. Like I'm not standing for that, but a woman wouldn't do that. She would be like, oh, okay. I all right. Yes, thank you for the opportunity.

Coach Ajit (14:13):
It is so true, it's not even funny. I employ so many men and women and I have a very open conversation with, with my team members. I literally say, what's your goal? Like how much would you like to earn? And let me work towards getting you to that goal. And if I can't, I'll let you know, Hey, listen, this is beyond capability of the company. Right. And men always have a very clear answer. Like very clear answer. This is where I'm hoping I can get to, this is what it is. And with women, I have to literally it's like pulling teeth and a lot of times still, they wouldn't give me a number. And I'm like, but if you don't tell me where you want to go. Yeah. How will I as your senior boss, colleague, partner, whatever you wanna call me, help you get there because I have no idea where you want to go. Yeah. So I can't even help. I don't even know how to help you. It's so interesting. It's so fascinating. I even in a reality like ours, where I employ my team is like 80% females and I still struggle to get them to open up while they're in an environment of coaching all the time.

Regena Thomashauer (15:10):
Yeah. And it's interesting, right? I just, because you know, many of these women I'm sure are highly educated, but when, no matter what degree from Harvard, from Yale, from Princeton, if you do not a woman who owns her pussy owns her life and it cuts that way. If she does not own her pussy, she will not own her life. No matter how many degrees she has, no matter how many honors she's earned, no matter how Summa Cum Laude she is until she owns her pussy. She doesn't own her life. And she will always feel second class and unworthy. And we don't associate that. Let's say connection with the body with value. Generally speaking, when women connect about their pussies, they consider it pornographic or overtly sexual or in service to their lover. But we don't look at the ownership of our body as if it was for us and us.

Regena Thomashauer (16:09):
Not only standing in our feminine human power, but it's pleasure and pussy and sensuality is really the portal by which a woman connects to her own divinity. So she can't own her sacredness or her holiness without connecting it through her pussy, through her body. And you know, it's a way for her to own her power in a unique and pivotal way that will alter the trajectory of her life. The, you know, before pusy and after pusy is a whole different thing. And we banished that word from religions, from schools, from all conversations and it's, you know, you know, only permitted in the bedroom in a, you know, monogamous partnership because if a woman strays from that she's considered a slut and then she's ostracized. So it is a challenging conversation which must be had for a woman to really step into her voice, her power, her confidence, and her potential.

Coach Ajit (17:14):
So, few questions. Firstly, you mentioned previously, we were talking about how men do get a word and they're usually like pretty, you know, understandable and not weird whereas women get like really obscure words for their private parts. And so, so my question is this is probably more a personal question to me because I have a daughter. And I would love for her to actually, you know, grew up with the power and doesn't have to reclaim it later. What would be the word? Because, and, and the reason why I asked this word is because while I understand pussy could be the word it's not, it's not...

Regena Thomashauer (17:50):
Not a word for little girls.

Coach Ajit (17:51):
For, for a little girl. I can't

Regena Thomashauer (17:53):
No.

Coach Ajit (17:53):
Because it's so sexualized in the world, it's like the social contagion is gonna, like, it's just gonna be wacky for her.

Regena Thomashauer (18:00):
Yeah.

Coach Ajit (18:00):
So, what's the word?

Regena Thomashauer (18:00):
You know, when Maggie's the little girl I used to take bath with her, cuz it's kind of easier. We both dump in the bathtub at the end of the night. And and so I just made sure she knew that she had a vulva and I used the word vulva because it's the correct term. It's the outer lips, the inner lips and the clitoris. Whereas vagina, people think vagina is right, but it's anatomically wrong. It would be like calling a male penis, a scrotum, you know, because the vagina is inside. The only person that sees your vagina is your gynecologist. Cuz he has the speculum and he'll kind of look inside your vagina. It's that canal. It actually means sheath, which is the thing the sword goes into. But a vulva is the exterior genetalia that you can see with the naked eye, no speculum required. So that's the word I would choose. That's what I taught Maggie. And she knew where her clitoris was by the time she was two, cuz I would show her cuz kids start to explore their bodies. Some kids will even start masturbating as young as two or three or four, like.. So Aiyla is pretty hip, you know, she's pretty witty. She's probably gonna be one of those early adapters.

Coach Ajit (19:15):
Well, well we, we definitely wanna educate her early on. So, so thank you for sharing that. So that was a personal question.

Regena Thomashauer (19:21):
Yeah. And also I think as much as you can do, just to be like enchanted with her, which you are, you know, and you just, when you're with her, you know, she's like the most beautiful, incredible creature on earth. Like fathers who adore their little girls. Those are the happiest little girls.

Coach Ajit (19:38):
Oh thank you. I do adore her. My second question is for our audience, which is our listeners is you said we need to reclaim the power, reclaim our empathy. So how, how would somebody say in the thirties, forties, fifties, listening to this podcast right now it's a female or even a male that is like, oh, I, I would like my wife to listen to this or my partner to listen to this. What would you tell them? How do they reclaim that power? I know there's a whole book around it.

Regena Thomashauer (20:11):
I mean it's so easy cuz then you could just buy the book. Yeah. Let's say or listen to it on audible or I think that's the quickest solution because just like anything that we're doing, that's new, it's a learning curve. You know, even if it, I was teaching somebody to ride a bike. I remember when I was teaching my daughter to ride a bike, like the first thing was to get her to like wheel the thing down the street, cuz it's scared her, even with the training wheels on it, you know, just like getting familiar with this is how this thing moves and you'll be getting on it soon. And so it's learning to become familiar with a new place that you're wanting to expand into and acquire some dexterity. You have to be really gentle and really slow with yourself. Like let's say if there's a woman listening to this podcast right now, I would say go home or go to the ladies room right now.

Regena Thomashauer (21:07):
Put the podcast on pause and just take a little hand mirror. If you have one in your purse or if you've got a full length at home and look at your pussy, just look at it because you wanna be able to identify where are my outer lips? Where are my inner lips? Where's my clitoris. What do the different parts feel like? You just wanna get on friendly terms? What I find is that majority of women who take my classes probably haven't ever looked at their pusies before in their life. Maybe their lovers have maybe their gynecologists has, but to really look at this body part that is responsible for your orgasms, you know, it pussy serve us in so many ways. They give us orgasms, they push babies out. They're self cleansing each month with... They ovulate, they menstruate, like they're so valuable.

Regena Thomashauer (22:00):
And yet we don't take the time to really look and appreciate. And there's I call it the five stages of pussy. Cuz I find when women are getting acquainted with their pussies, they go through five stages. The first one is revulsion. Like when they see their pussy for the first time or another woman's pussy, they're like gag me. Oh my God. That is the craziest thing I've ever seen in my life. That is so gross. Oh whoa. Well look at the colors. Wow. The pubic hair like whoa. So that's phase one, phase two is the skeptical researcher where they're like, okay. I was feeling a little queasy about this whole thing yesterday, but I'm gonna look again today. And then they look on the next day and they're like, okay, I can see. Or that's interesting. Like my pubic hair is growing in this shape.

Regena Thomashauer (22:49):
My one lip is a little bigger than the other little asymmetrical. Oh look at my clitoris. I can see it. There's a hood over my clit. Okay. All right. That's enough for today. All right. Then third day they are the affectionate researcher and they're like, oh yeah. Oh, look at that. I can actually see that. Just by paying attention to my pussy because pussy are so sensitive if they love attention. So even if a woman is just looking at her own pussy, it will start to respond. It will start to en Gorge. There'll be more blood flow in that area. She'll start to feel an aliveness there. And then on day four, if she becomes an enthusiastic researcher and she's like, there you are, look how cute you are. You are so gorgeous. And she starts to praise her pussy and appreciate her pussy or starts.

Regena Thomashauer (23:41):
Pussy will start to respond and feel really good. Like her whole body, all of her neurotransmitters will turn on and beta endorphin and the serotonin and the prolactin like the, all the hormones will engage and she'll start to feel pleasure just regarding her own pussy and praising her own pussy. And then some women will hit it on day five and they will hit rapture where they will be like, wow, I have a body with a pussy. I come from a body with a pussy who comes from a body with a pussy. Like my pussy is connecting me to all of my ancestors, to all the women who came before me to all the girls of today. That will be the women of tomorrow. Like this is a way of union, not just with myself, but with my lineage, with all women in the world, with all givers of life because women give life, whether they push a baby out of the pusy or not like if a woman is turned on and owning her pussy and she enters a room, she ignites the room.

Regena Thomashauer (24:44):
She is the life force. And when she's not, it's not there is. And I'm sure you notice this, the women in your life that are turned on, it's probably why you married Neeta. Because you're like, oh, that woman is turned on and I'm attracted to that woman as opposed to other women that can be perfectly beautiful, but their lights are off. They're just disconnected from their sexuality. So there's a lot that a woman can do. And then of course, if you want to even get to learn more, you learn about self pleasuring techniques and learn what your pussy likes. And then you're able to communicate that to other lovers. But it's important for a woman to put her key in her own ignition. Turn that baby on, take it down the highway cuz then you can invite passengers.

Coach Ajit (25:27):
Beautiful. Beautiful. And I, I do wanna plug in the book again, the book's called pussy a reclamation and there's tons of techniques that you talk about during the course of the book in terms of stories that you tell a lot of background research. And like you mentioned, it's almost like a researcher stage where you, you, where you invite everybody into a dialogue that is not just, you know, just, it's not a, it's not a rent, it's actually research. It's a, here is how you do it. Here is what you can do. Here are some of the techniques. Here's how you do the group of them and so on. So forth. And I know it sounds like I said, how do you know so much? It's because I really did enjoy the book and it is, I really do recommend it to men.

Coach Ajit (26:04):
If nothing else listening, like you said on audible, I did it on iBooks. Absolutely love listening. You're a great storyteller. It's very much more engaging. Like I I'm, this is why engaging too, but listening to it was very engaging as well. So I totally recommend you to go get the audiobook or a physical copy for yourself, for your friends and your partner and so forth. So they can engage in this conversation. So we understand now as to what is it that maybe causing women to not own their power? We also talked about what could be some of the first few steps that could help women, women coaches to own their power. What is it that you would suggest? Let's say somebody is a coach, a female coach more specifically, who is struggling to find their worth within the scope of the book or beyond the scope of the book.

Coach Ajit (26:51):
As some immediate steps, as a follow up to this podcast. Say, okay, here are three things that I want you to do. One is the mirror that you just, just shared, take the mirror, watch yourself observe, create, and, and coaches who are listening to the podcast, know I'm big on awareness and presence around things and then taking things from there. So, so this is great. It also connects to the coaching techniques that we talk about a little bit. Is there anything else that you would go, Hey, here are some things that I want you to watch for, or here are some things to consider or think about or look at.

Regena Thomashauer (27:19):
I think that one of the things that women have been taught by virtue of living in this patriarchal world culture that generally devalues the feminine is there's a lot of negative self-talk that happens all the time. You know, let's say she's applying for a job and then she doesn't hear. And then she thinks, oh, well I guess they didn't like me. I guess I wasn't good enough. Instead of thinking, oh, maybe they're just really busy and they haven't gotten back to me yet. Maybe I'll just send another follow up email, you know, or it could happen socially. You know, where somebody they're interested in dating doesn't text back and they assume the worst, like, oh, he or she hated me or I wasn't attractive enough. Or there wasn't enough connection where it could be, their mother was in the hospital and they had to go handle a family emergency for a few days.

Regena Thomashauer (28:13):
So we have this interior negative thinking. So I like to encourage women. And I talk about this in my first book, which is called Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts to create instead of a mantra, a woman mantra, which is a little phrase that you make up in your head that empowers you rather than disempowers you. And it's super simple to do, but it's magical in its outcome. So for example, you know, if she's going to her interview and she's thinking, oh, I'm so nervous. I'm not enough. Oh God, I hope I say the right thing. But she replaces that thought with a woman mantra that she makes up, that might be something like this. I have the hottest, most gorgeous pussy in Austin. And then she's just thinking that thought and it's making her laugh cuz it's kind of a silly and adorable thing, but she's thinking, oh, I have the hottest, most gorgeous pussy in Austin. It changes the way she walks down the street. It changes the way she says hello when she gets arrives through the interview. And it really changes the way she is when she's actually at the interview because she's replaced her negative thinking with something that's uplifting and turns her on, which when a woman's turns on she's in her highest power. So all of my technology is really about turning women on because when she's turned on, she will be operating at, from a different paradigm than when she's turned off.

Coach Ajit (29:43):
So that is so powerful. And I, I see what you mentioned previously as well. I was like, yeah, there is times when I'm walking into a room and I can see a person that's on and a person that's not on. Yeah. Right. And everybody knows that like in the sense, like we all observe it. We just don't recognize it in the way that like yeah. If somebody told that to themselves while going in, it's like having positive thoughts, but in a very much more interesting way, of course more relevant to women too. It's just simply go. Instead of believing all this garbage that doesn't help us at all. Why not talk to us in a wo-mantra and that moves you forward.

Regena Thomashauer (30:19):
Yeah. It just moves you forward. And then in addition, another little technique that helps a lot is if a woman begins a practice of bragging about herself because oh yeah, it's really interesting. Like men are up for bragging. Like I'm sure you've noticed this, you know, you go to a cocktail party and the guys are like, Ajit, you won't believe my businesses earning millions and millions.. bla bla.

Coach Ajit (30:41):
Sometimes lying, bragging, but yeah, it's still bragging.

Regena Thomashauer (30:45):
But it is very rare for a woman to do that. You know, I always at this party one time and I met this author, she wrote one of my favorite plays and she had just won a puer prize. And so, and her daughter and my daughter went to school together. So I went over and I was like, wow, you know, congrats on the puer. I saw your play. It was so amazing. She's like I have writers block right now. I like, no, but you just went, no, I can't, I can't, I can't get a word on the page. And so women, even when something amazing happens, we are hesitant to share the goodness. So I like to teach women and encourage women to brag because one, they are willing, even if they just pop out a little tiny brag, it changes their chemistry.

Regena Thomashauer (31:36):
And then if you receive it well, and you say, whoa, that was so cool that you did that. It encourages her to come forward. You know, because we're afraid of being you know, boasting or appearing superior to other women because, because women have such there's such a strong victim culture amongst women of, you know, we complain about our husbands, our bosses all of that. We are afraid of breaking that bond of mutual victimization with other women by celebrating ourselves. But what we don't realize is when we do give ourselves permission to brag, it actually gives other women permission to celebrate themselves as well. So it's a way of taking care of the world by just bragging. You're taking care of the world because you're celebrating yourself and then other women and girls feel that it's okay for them to celebrate themselves as well. So it's another little tiny practice that is a big consequence.

Coach Ajit (32:35):
That's, that's a beautiful practice. And, and as you're saying, I was trying to recall moments when I've heard of woman brag and I could probably count them on my fingers. There's so little time when women just go in and really own it. Yeah. Like, yep. I'm awesome. Yeah. So what, like, that's what I am. I am awesome. So why not own it? Thank you for sharing those amazing tools. To all our listeners, go ahead and use these tools. If you haven't had the chance to go pick up the book just yet, go ahead. Pick up Pussy: A Reclamation because you're gonna absolutely love it.

Regena Thomashauer (33:05):
And you know what...

Coach Ajit (33:06):
And you're gonna love you.

Regena Thomashauer (33:06):
You're gonna absolutely love you also. It kind of does both at once. So you were right.

Coach Ajit (33:10):
Thank you so much for taking the time sitting down with me

Regena Thomashauer (33:13):
It's my pleasure. It was my pleasure. So much fun and so grateful to be here with the incredible audience that you have, that you contribute so much to.

Coach Ajit (33:22)::
Wasn't that episode powerful? Wasn't that conversation so very powerful.? I love the book, Pussy: A Reclamation. I think it is a powerful book. I understood about women a lot more after reading the book, I think you'll understand your clients a lot more. After reading the book, I encourage you to go get a copy. How did you enjoy the episode? If you wanna continue learning more tools about coaching. I encourage you to follow us on Spotify or subscribe to this podcast on Apple podcast. If you haven't yet taken the time to give us a five star rating. Go ahead and give us a five star rating. Thank you so much for tuning in. This is Coach Ajit and you're listening to Master Coaching with Ajit podcast.