49. Tools For Creating Your Future & Making It A Reality - Evercoach - By Mindvalley

December 7, 2021

49. Tools For Creating Your Future & Making It A Reality

Do you have a compelling vision for your future which you're 100% motivated to achieve no matter what? Most people might define their future, but find themselves redefining it over and over again, and not making much progress towards making it a...

Do you have a compelling vision for your future which you're 100% motivated to achieve no matter what? Most people might define their future, but find themselves redefining it over and over again, and not making much progress towards making it a reality.

"Fear is a function of unpredictability in the future." – Ajit Nawalkha

In this episode, Master Coach Ajit Nawalkha explains why most visions are not compelling enough and shares effective tools for creating your future vision and sticking to it.

"Our belief in something that can happen and can’t happen defines our engagement with that act." – Ajit Nawalkha

Is your future vision compelling or are you creating a vision based on your external reality?

3 philosophies we need to consider when designing a compelling future.

Tools and exercises to define your compelling vision.

Strategies for how to stick to your vision and make it a reality.

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You are listening to Master Coaching with Ajit podcast that inspires coaches to impact the lives of their clients more meaningfully. I am Coach Ajit and I'm known for coaching high performers, entrepreneurs, and leaders. I'm also a serial entrepreneur and author of many books. On this podcast, I am answering your burning questions. I'm also demonstrating and deconstructing behind-the-scenes coaching sessions.

And today we are at episode 49 and we are discussing a very important question that came in from Barbara, Barbara asked, "I'm naturally a detail-oriented person, and I'm struggling with big thinking and creating a vision which needs visualization. I got loads of inner voices and feelings, and they're all very unhelpful. And I virtually have no glimpse of the future. This is really annoying me because I know this is fundamental to building a successful business, a future that I'm excited about. How do I improve that sense of a compelling future?" What an interesting question, how many of us have found ourselves struggling to find the future that we can stick with that we feel this is compelling. I really wanna create this future for myself in life. Do you have clients that may have found themselves struggling with the same thing where they wanna know the how to before they can actually get to create a big vision for themselves?

If you are someone that is struggling to create a compelling vision for yourself, if you are someone who finds clients and is working with clients who right now close to the end of the year are struggling to define that clear vision that they want to create for themselves. The compelling future they wanna create for themselves. This episode is for you. Now, before we get into creating a compelling future and a compelling vision for yourself, and also find techniques or define techniques that will help you stick with those vision statements and that vision of yourself, let's first understand why is it so hard for us to actually create a compelling vision? Why is it so hard for us that even when we write the vision statements and we write what we wanna create in the lives, we tend to not stick with it, or it tends to change very often.

So let's first understand what takes away from the certainty of our compelling future. What is it that really takes away the sense of belonging we want with our compelling future? The five very specific reasons that we have found tend to stop our clients in being able to stick to a particular vision or stick to something and feel compelled and drawn towards it. The first reason is because of how we learn as human beings. You see, for the longest time in our lives, we have learned through analogy, learning through analogy means that we look at our environment around us. We look at people doing different things, and as we watch them do things, we learn how to do or not do certain things. This is how children learn. When you are 2, 3, 4, 5 years old people around you do things and you watch them doing those things, and you tend to repeat them.

You want to mimic them because you're learning from analogy. If somebody is putting together a toy in a particular way, you want to see how they're putting a toy together. And that is how you learn. And this is how we've always learned. We've always learned with analogy. And so we tend to design our lives with analogy. When we are asked to define what is the vision of our lives. When we are asked to envision how our future may look like, we tend to look at people around us and define what our possibility of the future is in context of what we see around us. This is also why you may have heard that you are the sum of your five best friends, your outcomes, your visions in life. Your habits are more closely related to people that are around you. And the reason is because we are learning by analogy consciously and subconsciously.

And because we learn by analogy, what happens is our life vision becomes a borrow vision. We look at people around us, we look at their lives and from their life, we pick details. We say, okay, if somebody has a particular car, I want that car. If somebody has a particular kind of house, I want that house. And because this vision that we have now defined for ourselves, didn't come from within us, but it came from people around us, the moment, the people around us change or evolve, we change and evolve. So a vision that may feel compelling one day, the next day, just because of the change of environment around us, that vision is not compelling anymore. So the first reason why we don't create a compelling vision is because we are focused too much in understanding what a good vision looks like based on our external realities and based on the immediate reality that is around us.

The second reason why we find it so difficult to create a compelling vision of ourselves or compelling vision for our lives is because in the modern times, our brains are constantly overloaded. You see our brain skin process, only certain bits of information at any given time. And as it is taking that information, every time a new piece of data comes into the brain, our brain starts to try and make meaning of it. And when it tries to make meaning of it, now, our brain is going in many different variants, many different tangents. It's almost as if we open a new node of thinking in our brains, when a new piece of information comes. Now, it may seem harmless, but if you have too much information, especially when the information is not relevant to you, every piece of that information is opening a new node, forcing your brain to think about things that may not be relevant to your actual future.

This is why we suggest people to limit the amount of news that they consume every single day. Because if you consume too much news, too much information, your brain wants to process it. It wants to make meaning of it. And it allocates its power to make sense of information that you have no control on and make sense of the information that you possibly can't even do anything about. So while staying abreast of the news is important, getting too much information, especially irrelevant gossip, magazine type information, maybe overloading your brain and taking away from the pure potential of it. Being able to visualize your future. The third reason why we are not able to commit to a compelling future of ourselves and our lives is because our brains are biased for dopamine highs. You see our brain is always looking for what's more. And that's the molecule of more, you can say in a way, and that is dopamine.

Dopamine wants us to keep reaching for more our chase for more and lack of understanding of when is enough is enough, creates a dissatisfaction to whatever we create as a compelling future for ourselves. So while we may be chasing and creating something as a future for ourselves, a vision of ourselves, the moment we get close enough, or even make progress towards the direction of that future, dopamine wants more. It creates a gap in our mind to say, maybe there is something more, maybe we need to think about something more. Maybe this is not a compelling future. Maybe the compelling future requires more. And because we are constantly in this dopamine high, we never really commit to the vision. We never really commit to what we are creating in the future. Making us always in a chase environment, always opening up new directions and new details that may not be relevant to what we truly truly want.

And every single time we fall for dopamine and de-commit from our otherwise committed vision and sense of future self. We end up losing trust in self and our capabilities. And that is the fourth reason why we tend to not commit to a future and not find a compelling future for ourselves is because every time we make some progress, we are moving towards the direction and we change the direction and we change where we are going. We lose a little bit of faith in ourselves and our capabilities to actually create the future that we want. And because of that lack of trust, we start to question if we could ever create a compelling future, if we could ever have the future that we truly want for ourselves, because we seem to constantly be changing and evolving from one version of our future, to another version of our future, without making real progress and without seeing any outcomes in the direction where we made some progress.

The last reason why we tend to not feel like our future is compelling, why we tend to feel like that we will have the future that we want is because we put arbitrary timelines as to when that future needs to be realized. We put arbitrary expectations on when that future needs to be realized. How many times have we found ourselves putting a date or a month to a weight loss or to a particular amount of revenue or to career growth, or to get a pay raise or to get pregnant. And these arbitrary timelines create a stressful situation. In our current reality, these arbitrary timelines have no real basis. There is no reason to believe that a particular future will happen in a particular timeline. There are too many pieces that need to come together for a future to be realized. It is sometimes unrelated to each other.

And sometimes these things that need to come together for your future to be realized are unrelated. You can't even project what all needs to happen for a particular future to be realized in your timeline. So the last reason that we tend to not feel like that our future is compelling, or we have a compelling future, or we stick to a future that we have thought for ourselves, we stick to a vision that we have thought to ourselves is because we put arbitrary expectations and timelines on that future. So one of these five reasons could be the reason why you feel that you are not going to have a future that you hope for today, that you're not gonna realize that future, that you hope for today, that you don't feel a sense that this future is compelling in a future. That this future is something that can be realized. This vision can be realized. Now let's understand the philosophy of a compelling future. The reason why I like to lean from philosophy is if you philosophically agree on what a future should look like, or how should we think about a compelling future, then we can talk about strategies. Then we can talk about what is it that we can do as a step-by-step to actually design a compelling future. But if you philosophically disagree on what a compelling future is looking like, what are some of the principles to lean into then any step by step model is not gonna work for you any step by step model that I suggest is not gonna work for you. So let's lean into the philosophy of a compelling future. I wanna share pre philosophies that I believe one needs to agree, understand, or at least consider when they're designing a compelling future.

This is coming through my experience of working with many clients who have realized their futures. This also comes from my own understanding of how future manifests in our lives. Now some of it is psychological and some of it is spiritual. The reason why we lean into spirituality for future is because future is something that is yet to happen. It is very hard to predict. It is very hard to really know what's going to happen in the future because well, it is in the future. So let's find some common ground on how and what we think is a compelling future and how to think about it. The first understanding I wanna share with you is future is happening or not happening based on the point of view of the observer. So a thing in future is getting realized or not getting realized is very much subject to how you view something.

What that means is the future is happening right now, or the events that will lead to the future that you want is happening right now are not happening right now is very much a function of how we view the events. The reason I believe so is, because a future outcome is not just the function of exactly steps taken in the direction of that future. Many times, if you want a vision to be realized, there are so many factors and sub-factors that need to change and evolve for that vision to come true, many unrelated things and events need to happen for you to realize your true potential. Let me give you an example that comes from my life. That gives you an idea of how sometimes unrelated things create the future that you've always been dreaming about. You see, when I started as a coach, I had imagined myself to be one of the leaders.

One of the conversation starters, one of the linchpins of the coaching industry, I wanted always to be a person that is moving the narrative for the progress of the industry. And because of that, I thought that steps that I should take are always in congruence with building Evercoach and building this company in a particular way. And that seemed like the next best steps to always take. The challenge that I was faced with is it takes a lot of work to build a new company. It takes a lot of gr it takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of failures for one to realize the dream of creating a powerful enterprise. And so I was on the journey of creating this, but constantly I found myself hitting a wall. I constantly would hit the wall of financial stress that building a new company takes.

A lot of times we would be running ourselves to the ground. We would be running, uh, a balance sheet that showed huge losses for the company. And personally, it would take a toll on me personally. I would find myself struggling to be able to stick to this project. So while I was building this company, and while I was struggling financially, to be able to build this company, an interesting thing happened. Uh, life partner showed up in my life. This is my wife, Dr. Neeta. She showed up in my life and she started to work with me indirectly as a partner where she would help me navigate my own mindset, my own mindset on what I'm building, how I'm building it. What's the longevity of things that I'm building because of the questions she was asking around all areas of my life. She had got me to view my work as just one part of my life and evaluate all other parts of my life.

While she got me to question everything while she got me to move my narrative everywhere in life, I found that unconsciously, I had become better at doing business. And that was because I was more aware of who I was and who I was not. You see Dr. Neeta, my wife Neeta was not directly employed by Evercoach to help Evercoach grow, but I can say with a hundred percent certainty that I would still be struggling if Neeta was not in my life, the way she got me to question different areas of my life, the way she got me to reevaluate my priorities were the foundation of the success of Evercoach that you see today is because I am so aligned with my values. That it's a very easy held yes or no for me, based on my values, I don't fall for tactics.

I don't fall for tricks. I don't necessarily indulge myself into marketing and marketing gimmicks. I work on what I truly, truly care for, which is to be of service and be a man of love. Those two fundamental values that are the values of me doing business. Day in, day out, actually came out of an exercise that me and Neeta did as partners. We did this exercise where we asked ourselves, what is those two or three values that we both always fall back on? So those can be our common values. We may disagree on other areas of life, but we know that these two things, these two values will always uphold and that was love and service. And we wanna always be acting from a place of love and that we always wanna be in service of humanity and people around us and our friends and family members and so forth.

And that became the reason why today Evercoach is so successful while everybody else in the coaching industry was falling for the latest gimmick and the latest trick. We stuck our guns to being of service to this community and to operate from a place of love every single day, there is no way I could have known that my life partner needs to get an order for my business to get an order. And that is why I encourage everybody who wants to have a compelling future to suspend the belief that the future is not happening, just because it's not directly related to the vision that you wrote down very many times, many different things have to come together and find their space before it can create the reality that you truly want. So my invitation to you right now is to remember that future is happening or not happening purely based on how you view the world.

The second thing that you wanna remember is that your dreams are always coming true. Your dreams, your goals are always coming true. The difference is that it's not happening in the way you expect it. And the reason why I see that, and the reason why this distinction is so important is because there are many ways to get to the goal. And most likely your current understanding of the world does not have all the information inside of the future world that will exist. And because it doesn't have that, it most likely cannot determine the path today to get to tomorrow's outcome. It can have some sense of it, but it cannot have the exact path. The only way to know the path is to walk the path. So don't try to figure out how exactly your dreams are gonna come true, how exactly your vision is going to come true, more lean into the idea that you will figure it out.

And the path is going to be different, that you can anyways, foresee, and that you have the capability and trust that you will figure it out with the universe in partnership with the universe. And that brings me to the final philosophy that you need to remember on how dreams come true on how to have more certainty about your future. And that is, there is no certainty of outcome in the timeframe that you can possibly visualize in life. You see, our lives are long pieces of art. They are extended over if I have to say an average age of 80. So this is a painting, a piece of art that you're creating over 80 years. There is no timeframe in the context of 80 years that you can pick and say, well, in these three years, or in these two years, I would have the perfect picture that I would paint.

This would be my legacy for these three years. And that's it. Your legacy has been getting created and will continue to get created even before those three years and after those three years. So there is no one timeframe. And hence there is no certainty of outcome based on the timeframe, the certainty of outcome, but not in any timeframe to suspend timeframe, suspend the idea that something needs to happen in a particular point of time. So at this point, we understand why is it that you are not able to stick to a compelling future or even define a compelling future. We've also kind of established some baseline principles on how to think about a compelling future. Now, I wanna give you step by step on how to create a future vision that feels compelling to you. Okay? And once we are done with the step-by-step, I wanna explore some strategies on a daily and a weekly basis that you can practice so that you stick to creating this future within your lifetime.

The first step to creating a compelling future for your life for your immediate future is to disconnect from the external and connect with the internal. What does that mean? You see, we are constantly in touch with what's happening around us, but we are rarely in touch with what's happening within us. And because of the overload of external information and stimuli, we only understand what the world expects of us. We only understand what the world wants from us. What is right with the world? What is wrong with the world, but we are never really taking a hot moment to connect with what's happening inside. My invitation for you is to disconnect from all this external noise. Take out that phone for a few hours, shut down your laptop for a few hours and go out in nature. The reason why I highly recommend that you do it in nature.

Because when we look at nature, when we look at a horizon, when we look at something that has the vastness of nature or the beauty of nature, which naturally exists, it sense our is it sends our brain into a state of all, how beautiful it is to look at the horizon, how beautiful it is to look at a jungle or a mountain or a notion. The vastness of it sends our minds, our brains into a state of all. And when we are in the state of all, everything is possible. We are so amazed by the possibility that is around us. That is nature. That just exists. Nobody's trying to make it exist. It just exists. And because of that, we are able to now see greater potential and possibility for ourselves. So, the first step is to go out in the nature, go out in the nature, especially if you can find something that amazes you, that gives you a sense of all.

If you can't go external, where you can go out in nature, where you can experience are, I would say, go inside, go into deep meditative states where you can experience connectedness to the greater universe, listen to meditation track that allows you to connect to the oneness of the universe. And that will also help you realize the amazingness, the awe that is within you and within humanity and all nature that is to experience or get yourself into the state of all by disconnecting from the external and connecting with the internal, with your true self. Now, once you are in the state of all, I invite you to take a pad and a pen, and identify five to 10 areas of your life that matters the most to you, five to 10 areas of your life. That really, really matter to you. I'm gonna give you some examples of how these areas may sound like. It could be relationship.

It could be friendships, it could be health. It could be personal well-being, which could mean psychological help or spiritual health. It could mean career. It could be many other areas like that. Identify five to 10 areas that are really important to you. That really matter to you. Now that you've identified these five areas, ask your highest self, this question. If you could create anything in your life, if everything you imagine comes true five years from now, what do you wish your life to be like across all the five areas or 10 areas that you identified? So what I want you to do is in the node pad that you've taken, where you wrote the five areas start listing, what is it? If you could imagine everything is possible, anything that you wished would come true, you had faith certainty that it will happen. If you write it down today, it will happen.

I want you to write whatever you wish in each of the areas, areas one through five or 10, depending on as many areas that you picked. Go ahead and write that down. And once you have all of these details of experiences, of creations, of lifestyle, choices, of things that are happening in these areas, the way you live your life in this area, I want you to do an exercise where you go through each of the item that you wrote down. Each of the thing that you said, this is going to happen in the next five years. This is what is gonna happen in the next five years and ask yourself what Marie Kondo asks when she's trying to clean up your house, does this give me joy? Does this feel exciting? Does it feel aligned to me?

Does it feel like, with time and universe on your side, it can actually happen? You see our belief in something that can happen and can't happen, defines our engagement with that act. If you believe that in five years, there's a possibility for that thing to happen, you will engage with that on a daily basis. But if you truly believe that this is not even exciting, I just wrote it because I just said so, or somebody said so, or I saw somebody say it and do it. And so I just wrote it down. If you do that, you don't truly believe it. And if you don't truly believe it, there's gonna be no follow through on it. And if there's gonna be no follow through the universe, can't create. If you're not gonna put effort towards it, your intention matters. But your attention that follows that intention matters even more.

You can have all the greatest intentions in the world of creating the most beautiful life. But if you have no attention being put to actually creating it, it is unlikely that that beautiful life will happen. So go ahead and strike out anything that doesn't feel joyous to you. That doesn't feel exciting. That doesn't feel like the universe has your back in creating it. And as you strike it out, you'll be left with a document, a document that has things written on it across each area that matters to you in life that you truly want to realize in the next five years now, five years is an arbitrary timeline. This may happen in three. This may happen in 13. It doesn't really matter. The reason why I say five years is so you can put something without judging it too much without thinking about, will it happen or not five years is a long enough timeline for most things to be able to happen.

So that is the reason why it's five. If you feel more comfortable with seven, say seven, if you feel more comfortable with 10, say 10, if you're comfortable with three, say three, but once you're done striking out everything that doesn't seem right, doesn't feel right. Doesn't feel joyous and exciting and true and honest to you. Now finalize this document on a beautiful piece of paper, rewrite it, identify it as the document that you can look at it on a consistent basis. It can be on a wall that is right across the screen that you use. It could be in a journal where you consistently write. It could be on your fridge if that's what you look at consistently, but put it in a place where you can review this document again and again and again. So you are constantly reminded of your intention of your creation, and that is how you define your compelling vision.

And then finally, once this document is complete, take the time to write it like a story. Now you can do this as a follow-up. Whenever you get a chance, write it like a story, write it as if it is happening already. If you found yourself writing down, Hey, I am in the best shape of my life. I am an athletic man or athletic woman write down what it means. I am an athletic man that has 13% body fat that runs every day or that exercises every day. And I find true joy while I am exercising. Write it like a story. Write it as if it's happening right now, this storytelling that you're doing for yourself, you can do repeatedly and consistently your intention, words, and your intention document is constantly visible to you, but you may not actually read a story every day, but the intention document you can, but you can write that story once in a while.

And when you write that story and you write it in present tense, it affirms your vision. It affirms and reminds you of the compelling vision. And it puts you in a state of joy of excitement for that compelling vision to come true. And now I wanna get into what can you do to stick to this compelling vision? I wanna give you three things that would be useful to you as you're pursuing this vision, as you are creating this vision in your life. But before I do that, I invite you to subscribe to our podcast. You see, every single week, we make tremendous amount of effort in creating deep, meaningful classes for you as coaches, as, as coaches who have clients and work with clients. So you can create more impact in the world. Every subscriber, every download, every review that you post is our additional motivation to create even better, more useful, more powerful content.

We are doing this so we can empower you. And what we hope for is that you stick around with us, subscribing to this podcast, helps us continue to invest in this podcast. So now let's get into how do you stick to this compelling vision? Okay. The first thing that will take away from your compelling vision is when distraction hits, right? When you start looking at everybody else's life, once you've defined your ideal outcome, you start looking at somebody else's life and you get distracted. You feel their life is better than what life you define. You start feeling, they are doing something different than what you are doing. And that is the first reason we lose the alignment with the vision that we have for ourselves. So my invitation for you is to avoid all forms of distraction, limit the amount of information that you take.

Follow a few channels, like say, for example, this is the podcast that you follow for coaching, and that is it. You might follow me on the YouTube channels. Now you've got one source of truth and you're limiting all of the channels that may give you contradictory advice. And so you're sticking to one, you're avoiding distractions. You're saying, Hey, I'm gonna realign weekly with my vision, my way of learning my way of upgrading. And that's what I wanna do. Stick to your vision, realign with your vision weekly, by revisiting those intentions, by writing down that story, that in present tense, you're telling to yourself again and again and again. So you're not getting distracted by what the world presents to you. The second thing that you want to create in your life is build daily habits that bring you back to a state where you are high vibration, high energy, and you can pursue your compelling vision.

I call them short-term motivation triggers. You're looking for what is it that can motivate you at the moment to take action towards your intention? For example, it's a motivation trigger for me to invest 20 minutes to 30 minutes in my mind, by reading a book every day, one book or the other, I would pick up something read for 20, 30 minutes. It motivates me. It triggers me to be better. It reminds me of why I do what I do. It is a trigger for me to stay in an elevated state. Lastly, is find a way to create affirmative suggestions that create certainty of your future. Affirmative suggestions are suggestions that verify your belief, that confirm your belief, that you're creating something. For example, I have affirmative statements that I tell myself every single day in one way or another, sometimes it's looking at a mirror talking to myself.

Sometimes it is in my meditation. Sometimes it is me writing statements, but I am affirmatively suggesting that I am creating my future. One of the affirmative statements that I tell myself and that I'm creating a hundred million empire, there is no timeline in mind. I've just put that as an affirmative suggestion, that I'm creating a hundred million empire that represents certain value to me that I must have created in the world to be a part of such an empire. Secondly, I tell myself every single day, I'm an athletic man with 13% body fat. I'm not there yet, but I'm telling myself this future is getting created every single day. And I'm making effort to what's creating it every single day. I'm a parent who's present for his kids. I want to be a very present parent. And so I remind myself, Hey, I'm creating a reality.

I'm creating my future in a way where I'm available to my kids. I'm present with my kids. I am engaged with my kids and I want to have that as my future. Now it doesn't mean all of these are already true, but putting myself in that intention gets me to create from a place of intention, gets me to stay true to the compelling vision that I have created for myself. So I can stay excited about that vision because I know every single day I'm making effort, I'm making progress towards that vision to come true. So my invitation for you is to take, take some time today, tomorrow, or the weekend, and really ask yourself, do you have a compelling vision in your life? And if the answer is no, maybe you wanna do this exercise. Maybe you want to identify what is your compelling vision?

What is it that you're creating in the future? And as you write that, as you identify that, as you write the story of it, my invitation for you will also be to make sure you stick to this compelling vision and you build some habits and practices. So you can stick to this compelling vision. When you fulfill your vision, the voil becomes a better place. When you code thousands of clients, you make thousands of people live a better life. When you create millions of dollars for you, you create opportunities or jobs. You create opportunities of new creation. You create opportunities of progress and personal growth in the world. So everything suggests that your compelling vision is important for the world as well, to be able to see. So go ahead, take some time, take some time for yourself, create a compelling vision, compelling future for yourself, and then find ways to stick to that compelling future.

If you haven't taken the time yet to review this podcast, my invitation is go ahead and do it. Now, if today's episode is going to help you in any way, creating a compelling future for yourself in the compelling vision for yourself, I invite you to take a few minutes off your time and give us that review, give us that feedback. So we can also see how we are contributing to your life. Share this episode with someone that you think can really use this information to create their own compelling vision, to create their own compelling future. Thank you so much for listening. This is Coach Ajit and you're listening to Master Coaching with Ajit.

Read more

Listen On

Recent Episodes