48. How To Get Unstuck & Take Action Towards Your Dreams - Evercoach - By Mindvalley

November 30, 2021

48. How To Get Unstuck & Take Action Towards Your Dreams

In this episode, Coach Ajit coaches Karina, a high performer who is stuck in her career and unsure of how to create momentum towards her goal of being a full-time coach.  During this raw coaching conversation, Coach Ajit helps Karina really...

In this episode, Coach Ajit coaches Karina, a high performer who is stuck in her career and unsure of how to create momentum towards her goal of being a full-time coach.

During this raw coaching conversation, Coach Ajit helps Karina really identify what is holding her back which changes the goal and outcome of the conversation completely.

"Fear is a function of unpredictability in the future." – Ajit Nawalkha

If you or your clients are in a state of transition or feel stuck in your life or career, this is an episode you want to listen to. Coach Ajit shares some powerful exercises on how to get unstuck which you can try yourself or with your clients, and start taking action towards your dreams.

This coaching conversation has been edited for ease of listening but in essence, keeps all elements.

Look out for these key elements in the coaching conversation:

Are you aware of what your big picture looks like or are you stuck in the how-tos? What is the first step you need to take to get unstuck?

Would you try the exercises Ajit suggested at the end of the coaching conversation? What came up for you while listening to them?

What would you do when coaching a client like Karina?

Coach Ajit (00:00):
You are listening to Master Coaching with Ajit podcast that inspires coaches to impact the lives of their clients more meaningfully. I am Coach Ajit and I'm known for coaching high performers, entrepreneurs, and leaders. I'm also a serial entrepreneur and author of many books. On this podcast, I am answering your burning questions. I'm also demonstrating and deconstructing behind-the-scenes coaching sessions.

And in today's episode, I'm in a coaching conversation with a high performer. Her name is Karina, and she reached out to us with a request. She was like, Hey, I'm a high performer. I am a top executive in the company. And for some reason, I continue to not take action towards my coaching business. I wanna be a coach. I wanna create a great impact in the world for women in my country. But for some reason, I find myself taking one step forward and two steps back. And so can you help me actually create momentum and movement towards the goal that I have in life, which is to be a coach? And this conversation is a very interesting conversation because this is the kind of conversation I've had with coaches, individuals who wanna transition from one career to another, where they get so stuck up in the how-to that they forget about the overall outcome that they truly chase.

This will be an interesting coaching conversation for you. If you work with individuals that want to transition either in a career, either in a relationship or in some other area of their life, it would be an interesting conversation for you to explore. If you are in a state of transition for yourself, if you are in a place where you are wondering how to really make a decision and make progress, if you're feeling stuck. And if you feel like that, you take one step forward and two steps back. So if you're in that state, if you have clients that are in that state, listening to this conversation, Karina is such a star. You will love listening to her on how she is an amazing high performer in her life and in her career. And she has been that for a really long time. But even when somebody is a high performer, sometimes they can get stuck, like the way Karina got.

What you will find towards the end of the conversation is the story changes completely. What she's looking for, what she's wanting from her life. What are some of the exercises that I give her are completely different from how and where we started. It's an interesting coaching conversation for you to observe. It's an interesting coaching conversation for you to digest. It'll be interesting for you to notice how you can use some of the strategies that I used to change her perspective, to have her look at the bigger picture versus getting stuck in the how-to. I am so excited to hear what you feel about this conversation. So, let's stick together and find out how I helped Karina shift her narrative to find the real question that she needs to answer, to create that momentum in her life.

How are you feeling today?

Karina (Coachee) (03:11):
Fine. Thank you.

Coach Ajit (03:13):
Uh, where are you located? Karina?

Karina (Coachee) (03:15):
Uh, Mexico City.

Coach Ajit (03:16):
Mexico City. Nice. So you're not like in the middle of the night or anything like that?

Karina (Coachee) (03:21):
No, no, in fact I'm in the middle of the day. That's more or less 2pm.

Coach Ajit (03:27):
That's awesome. I love Mexico City. It's a great city. We and my wife celebrated our anniversary there a few years ago. um, it was delight. Love Mexico. Yes.

Karina (Coachee) (03:37):
Where are you?

Coach Ajit (03:39):
I live in Austin, Texas now,

Karina (Coachee) (03:41):
Austin, Texas. Right. Very nice.

Coach Ajit (03:43):
Yeah, it's great too. Yeah. I love Austin. Anyway. How was your day been until now? How are you feeling right now? What's coming up for you?

Karina (Coachee) (03:52):
Uh, well, my day started very early because of the hollow body coaching sessions. okay. Uh, and then I, I had a couple of meetings, so very nice, very nice, very smooth. at home, so very nice.

Coach Ajit (04:10):
That's great. It's a good time to have a good conversation when you're having a good day already. I like checking in how the person is feeling that I'll be working with. So we can check in on our emotions a little bit, check in on our feelings a little bit before we lean into a coaching conversation, which is why I wanted to check in how you were feeling. Um,

Karina (Coachee) (04:28):
So part of

Coach Ajit (04:30):
Form, from what I saw online in the forum that you submitted for the podcast, of course, we have never really spoken before. This is the first time we are interacting, right. From what I understood. It seems like you are currently in a phase where you're trying to transition from one thing to another. Is, is that, what is the, the objective you wanna work on today?

Karina (Coachee) (04:49):
Yeah, as I, as I mentioned, I am struggling regarding my next step in my professional life. I have been a senior executive for more than 15 years. And now in some way I would like to dedicate more time to my private practice and even consider it as a full-time job. Currently, I am in a company and in a, my private practice, no, in some way, but the struggle now is, is this the time to go deeper on this of, in a full-time job by myself, et cetera. Uh, so I find myself excited by the idea, but also reluctant to leave, you know, a financial security and also a corporate work that I truly love.

Coach Ajit (05:42):
So if, if I'm understanding this right, you'd love your job. Yes. At the same point in time, you would like to pursue your other career.

Karina (Coachee) (05:50):

Coach Ajit (05:51):
Yes. Is that, is that what you're trying to? Okay, cool. That's great. That's great. So tell me a little bit more about your current job. What is it? You said you're an executive. Is there a particular field you specialize in? Is it a particular kind of work that you like to do or you're doing in this corporation company?

Karina (Coachee) (06:06):
Yes. Well, uh, my specialization and my expertise is regarding, uh, education, corporate education, corporate change, corporate culture. As you can imagine, this is really related with the whole thing about coaching and support and facilitate that people and organizations reach their full potential. For example, it's very, very related. So I am in this company and I, my working, uh, regarding culture change and education, and I am involved in some specific projects regarding how to empowering women of low income families. So it's very powerful thing.

Coach Ajit (06:46):
So what you wanna transition into is coaching?

Karina (Coachee) (06:51):
Yes. Yes. More than the coaching, but also I would like, and in fact, I am doing already some private practices regarding consulting firms. No, uh, as an independent consultant, an external consultant about cultural education change, etc. All the same. And also I am, uh, I am a coach and also I am a psychoanalysis,

Coach Ajit (07:16):
So you wanna be a coach, you wanna be a consultant and you also basically you wanna provide services yes. Or change. If I have to simplify it, like Orly, simplify it here.

Karina (Coachee) (07:26):
Yes. I don't want to, to close in one thing. Mm-hmm, in a menu of things.

Coach Ajit (07:31):
Perfect. That's that's amazing. So, first of all, congratulations on your past thriving career and your current thriving career and your ambition to create even more change outside. Karina. If I was to ask you, is there, is there ever, uh, a time where you sat down and you really wrote down, what is it that you are creating for yourself in the future life? Have you ever done that exercise where you sat down and you said, okay, I'm gonna journal how life. I hope that my life unfolds in the next three years, five years, 10 years. Have you ever taken the time to, to visit that?

Karina (Coachee) (08:07):
Yeah. Who was it that yes, yes, indeed. I have done this exercise on a regular basis. And when I got 50 years, in my 50 year birthday, I decided to stop this corporate life and start my private practice. I'm now 52. But the thing is when in the following months, after this decision in my previous company, I feel this, you know, entity and this fear of, of, you know, the, of don't be able to, to have the resources, the financial resources, no, to provide my family, et cetera. And then I received this invitation for my current company and I, and escaped for the dream, you know, I get because of the fair.

Coach Ajit (08:58):
So tell me a little bit more about what is the security about is this financial security that we are talking about?

Karina (Coachee) (09:03):
It's financial security. Yes. And I have been very disciplined regarding income and saving, et cetera right now have like, uh, good saving, you know, invest. Uh, but yes, I, in my mind, it's like, it's not real because I have everything, you know, I, I have my home, my house, I don't have kids. So it's, it's easier that way. I do believe that in some way is, is like, uh, not rush. It's like a, not rational fear about what happened, because I do have resources, but yes, mostly it's it's about financial security.

Coach Ajit (09:41):
So have you ever tried to say, what is the minimum amount of money that I need to make for me to feel financially safe or it's always about more?

Karina (Coachee) (09:51):
No, no, no. I have, I have this amount, in fact, in the couple of months that I was, uh, by my own with a, between jobs. No. And my decision was I don't like to be in a, in corporation again. No, at that moment I did this exercise and I have the amount. And in, in some way I have this negotiation with a friend that has a consultant firm, you know, to work for that amount as a regular base, you know?

Karina (Coachee) (10:35):
yes. Yes. And I also, I, I, I said that it was some kind of irrational thought mm-hmm

Coach Ajit (10:42):
No, it could be either or. Is there a particular thing that comes up when you think about I'm gonna quit my job? What if, what if I said send in your, uh, resignation today? What is the thought that you will have? Like, what is, what is Karina gonna feel? What's the feeling that comes up

Karina (Coachee) (10:59):
Well in some way could be different things. For example, I could feel that I am very happy in my job currently. And I have some things to do before ending this job. I, I still doing some specific things and specific achievement that I would like to, to have. So I said, uh, really, no, I have more to do in this job. Second could be like, what, why are, are we sure,

Coach Ajit (11:36):
Let me ask you a question, Karina, because it seems like it is, it is not money. That is your fear. I think your fear is something else.

Karina (Coachee) (11:44):

Coach Ajit (11:44):
Something else is stopping you, not stopping you, but maybe is making the decision for you. It's not about money because like you said, rationally money is very rational. Thing. Money is not irrational. Money is two plus two equals to four it's mathematical. Like you are talking about money. Yes, there are blocks around it and so forth, but it is a very rational thing. And you've approached it very rationally from what you've chaired until now you've said you have a good war, chest backing you in case you wanna pursue your vision. You've already secured a contract that gives you your minimum, a livable income. So you, you're kind of in a place where you could quit today, if you wanted to rationally. So that means there is something that is actually stopping you because very little to do with money, money is the most easy, relatable thing that you may be projecting that thing on. Tell me a little bit more about your life on a day-to-day basis. Karina, how do you wake up? What do you do the rest of the day? Unwind that day for me an average day for you?

Karina (Coachee) (12:43):
Yeah. Average week. Well, I wake up very early. I give my, my dog breakfast and I have a cup of coffee. And then I started my, my vape with some breathing, some meditation, some exercising, et cetera. I'm working at, at home cause of the pandemic that I'm not going to the office anymore at this moment. So I, I have a, this office that is independent from the rest of the house and I start working. No, but I, I mixed personal things with corporate things. No, in, in some way, I end my day at 6:00 PM when the corporate job, and sometimes I, I have coachees or patients or something like that.

Coach Ajit (13:36):
Your day is pretty engaged in activities that you do for, for work. You can say in a way,

Karina (Coachee) (13:43):

Karina (Coachee) (13:56):
Yes. Maybe at 78. Yes.

Coach Ajit (13:59):
That's eight. You have dinner probably go to bed, watch TV or whatever. Right. So a day goes by pretty fast,

Karina (Coachee) (14:05):
Right? Yeah. Somewhere.

Coach Ajit (14:06):
Yes. Do you, do you think Arina based on how your day unfolded right now that you could have? So let me give a little context, fear or fear of anything is fear of the unpredictable. The reason why we are fearful of something is because we don't know what happens next. The moment we know what happens next, it is fear is replaced by certainty. And so it's usually replaced by either action steps or avoidance steps, whatever it might be. The, the nature of fear is fear is the function of unpredictability into the future, right? So you're like, oh, tomorrow I don't know what's gonna happen. So you feel fearful day, right? So we are always projecting into the future and being fearful in this moment. Right. And because fear is that what may be the case. And this is why I'm curious to hear what you think about this is, could it be that your fear has less to do with money and more to do with your life and more to do with how your life looks without work, your job in terms?

Karina (Coachee) (15:05):
Yeah. In terms of activities, do you say that I, I, I'm not going how to fulfill my, my day in some way, understanding

Coach Ajit (15:14):
More. It's a question I have for you. I don't know. How do you receive this question? And also interesting.

Karina (Coachee) (15:18):
Well, I said no, because I would like to understand more of the question, because you said that maybe it's not fear about financial stuff, but my life, um, without the corporate job,

Coach Ajit (15:32):
Without the corporate job, not, not your life overall. Yeah. So think about this right now, you start your corporate job at say 10 or 11 in the morning, you go until six that's, seven hours of your day or eight hours of your day that are dedicated to your corporate job where you probably go, not probably you go into work that you like, you meet people that you probably like. Yeah. Um, you're engaged for eight full hours and activities that you love. And if I say, all right, let's leave. It

Karina (Coachee) (16:01):
Could be in that sense. Not because of, of how to fulfill the time, but maybe, I don't know. I, I am real maybe as my identity, because I am the person in charge of a lot of things in my corporate job, responsible for a lot of people, you know, doing this big purpose with the women of low income and then put this great identity disappears. Who am I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's interesting.

Coach Ajit (16:32):
What comes up for you? If let's say we were to challenge you just for a minute, it's a hypothetical scenario. I'm not saying it is happening, but hypothetically, if we were to say, okay, let's suspend this identity for a minute. What is Karina without the identity of this woman that is meeting this grand purpose and this grand company with these amazing

Karina (Coachee) (16:53):
Well well, for sure, is, is still a woman with a big purpose, for sure. For sure. Because I, my private practices is also in that way with more freedom, maybe. No, and I am finding something very interesting, more courageous, more break regarding her decisions. This could be getting a, without the corporate job.

Coach Ajit (17:23):
do you feel there is a loss that is associated to the loss of that identity?

Karina (Coachee) (17:28):
No. No. Maybe not because I have been very successful in the corporate life. You know, I, with reputation colleagues that like,

Coach Ajit (17:36):
All of that goes away. If you don't have the job, your colleagues, if you, they and not doing the job anymore.

Karina (Coachee) (17:44):
No, of course not. No, no, no, no, no. There is no a big love accept the security. the financial security,

Coach Ajit (17:53):
But you already have financial security. You already have your minimum viable income coming from the consulting program. Plus you have eight hours of extra free time. Every day. There is no financial security. As, as we have established previously, there is no security as a challenge. You've already secured your contract from what you shared previously in this conversation with us. So you're safe financially. I don't know about other things, but financially you're safe.

Karina (Coachee) (18:23):
Yes. With, with a minimum income, right? Yeah.

Coach Ajit (18:27):
Yeah. But safety is about what is safety for you? Safety is knowing that if you fall, you won break.

Karina (Coachee) (18:35):

Coach Ajit (18:35):
Of course. That's what safety is. Safety is not. Can you jump higher? Can you do more? Can you get more? That's not safety. That's ambition. Safety is like having a safety net when, um, you know, uh, you know, one of those acrobatic individuals in sort to delay are about to make look very complicated, jump. Well that's safety that they have the net below. That's what safety is them making that jump is ambition.

Karina (Coachee) (19:01):
Yeah. You're right.

Coach Ajit (19:02):
So your safety is there. You're not, not safe financially. At least.

Karina (Coachee) (19:06):

Coach Ajit (19:07):
So let's, let's explore this a little bit more. Maybe something else will come through, we all have some identity around this, right? Like you reflected as well previously for a hot second there, like there is who we are is, this is who I am. This is what I do. Right. I'm a J I co-founded ever coach. I've co-founded many companies. I'm a serial entrepreneur from work. That's how I identify myself. My sense of identity, of married to an amazing woman. And I have amazing kids. That's my husband identity and parent identity. Right? So we have many identities and there's a complex identity that gets formed as a, as a set of all those things. Yeah. There is a identity that I am experiencing from Karina, which is associated to the job that she has and what I do want us to invite and look at this from a different lens than the question itself that we started with.
Yeah. The question that we started with, how do I feel safe to leave my job and follow my career? Some version of that was the initial objective that we started with. Sometimes that solves the question itself may not be relevant after we discover who we truly are. Right. And what we really enjoy, because there is no right and wrong paths. There is a sense of freedom that comes with many different things. Freedom is not a particular way of doing things. Freedom is not more time. Freedom is you getting to do what you really want to do. The definition of freedom. If curiously thought about is how a country gets free. A country is free. When the people of the country choose the leaders of the country and choose how the country should be run. It's not about everybody in the country has all the free time in the world.
That's not what freedom is. Freedom is choice. Freedom is not free time. Free time may be a part of freedom, but it's not the freedom, right? Yeah. So with, with that being established with that, at least at least putting as a context to our conversation and at least the understanding we have currently of the conversation. I want us to reflect further without thinking if we should keep the job or shouldn't keep the job, because that's not the question, the question's the life we get to live. Mm-hmm, the impact. We get to make things that we like to do. Do we get to do those because quitting a job, can't be the objective. Shouldn't be the objective because that's not the point. You can be in a job and do great things and you can be not be in a job and do great things.
There's no one path doing great things. So with that being said, and with that being on the table, not taking it off the table, I'm not trying to get you to quit your job or get you comfortable to quit your job. That is not my agenda here. That's not what I'm trying to coach you through, where I'm trying to figure it out with you here. What I am trying to figure out with you, Karina is what is the identity that Karina wants to live? What is it that she wants to experience day to day for the next 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, 15, 20, 50 years? What is the life that Karina wants to live? And what is the most congruent steps through that life? so Karina, if I was to take a step back and ask you the question that I asked you before, which was when you mapped your life at 50 52 55, 57. If I was to ask you the next three years of your life, how would you like your day to unfold? Would you have some idea of how that life look like? Looks like

Karina (Coachee) (22:19):
I, I have some idea, but not, not in the same way that I thought I had.

Coach Ajit (22:25):
So that would be your first follow-up from this conversation is invite you to take some time and reflect on what's the life that you truly desire because the life that you truly desire will define the steps we need to take towards that life. Yes, of course. Okay. So the thing that, again, we, we try to put always is we try to get to how to, before we define what it is and why it is. So what I've seen very often that happens with friends and clients is the moment I say, define the vision of your life. They would go, uh, yeah, I would like to do X and I will do this by doing blank, blank, blank. No, you don't wanna know how you will get there, how it's gonna take away from the power of your vision of life. Because how forces us to look at our past reality and past experiences and create a plan based on that.
But Karina is developing every day. Karina is growing every day. There is no reason to believe that Karina in the past, the same as Karina in the future, Karina in the future is way more powerful because she's getting experience every minute. Yes. Right. And if that is the case, Karina doesn't necessarily have to think about the how to, because Karina's version 2.0 3.0 5.0, has a completely different plan. And it will be revealed when it is time. Right? So what we are gonna focus on is just simply to ask if everything was possible, what is it that Karina truly wants and truly not based on what is the pain I'm feeling right now? Not based on what I know as an experience in the past, not based on the past at all our current experience of life, based on the experience we want to create in life, because you will find that sometimes the experience you want to create in life doesn't need for you to change things dramatically.
Sometimes it's a marginal change because it's more a way you approach life that needs to change and you get to live your perfect life. Sometimes it's a huge change, but then you plan for it and you map your steps to get to that point where you can make that huge change and you get comfortable to that situation. And it's not going to be evident when you are truly, honestly, just answering the question from your heart as to what your life should be like. And what is the life that you want for yourself? The universe around us is there to create whatever we ask it to create. We have no reason to put a legend its way by saying, this is how I want you to create it too. The universe knows

Karina (Coachee) (24:53):

Coach Ajit (24:54):
Right. And it'll bring the right energies around. You. It'll bring the right partner around. You it'll bring the right company around. You it'll bring the right whatever needs to come around you, right. Friend around you, just so that you can fulfill that ambition that you have.

Karina (Coachee) (25:11):
Yeah. I, I, I do believe that for a lot of things. And for some years, I, I have been so focused on the house, how to achieve this, how to, because I'm very, you know, successful focus person. No, but mm-hmm, we have big purpose really clear. But, but yes, it really, I don't know. It worried, but focus on, on the house. Yeah, you're right. Maybe because I, I, I don't know if it's if the universe will provide for sure, because my life in sometimes were not easy, was not easy.

Coach Ajit (25:47):

Karina (Coachee) (25:48):
so maybe I, I have to review my trust on the universe

Coach Ajit (25:54):
Maybe and skills. Maybe I know that life was not easy. Doesn't mean life will not be easy.

Karina (Coachee) (25:59):
Yeah. I know.

Coach Ajit (26:02):
We only need to carry the learning experience from our past stories. We don't have to carry the stories, the burden of the stories. We can just carry the personal experiences you got out of it. Here's a truth, Karina. You've said it multiple times. And I, and I, and I believe so that you're a very successful person today. And the reason why you got so successful is because of the journey you had, the challenges that you faced because of those challenges, you became the Corrina that you are today and got the success that you got today. I don't know if the Karina that didn't have those experiences would have the success. You don't know that either. Right? Those challenges while may seem really difficult and really hard in the moment. And there's no way I can, or anybody can take that away from you. The, the experience that you had there, the beauty of that experience probably created the cor OFC today.

Karina (Coachee) (26:55):
Yeah, of course. For

Coach Ajit (26:57):
Sure. And if that is the case, you're not gonna have the same challenging experiences for sure. Because you already learned from it. That's why you got to where you got to, you will have a different set of challenging experiences for sure. But that's the entertainment of life. There's no way that's not happening because challenging experiences create new versions of us. It's one of the ways of creating new versions of us, right? Yes,

Karina (Coachee) (27:19):
You're right.

Coach Ajit (27:21):
What's coming up for you right now. Right now.

Karina (Coachee) (27:23):
I am very happy and positive because I believe that the foundation is there. No, the foundation is there when I said I'm successful. It's not, again, it's just, like you said, it's not about money, you know, or, you know, awards or something like that. It's, it's about a or something like that is, is about that. My purpose of facilitating things for people, especially for women in my country, that's quite difficult for, for us is there. And it has been always there for me as my, you know, guiding start. So the foundation is good, but the present are transforming right now because of these questions and, and these and these insights. So when you have this point of insight, no, the thing is wow. And it's oh, because without that, the awareness you are no, like innocent of not doing things. But I also think that the beef insight is wow or, oh, , it's in the same thing.

Coach Ajit (28:25):
Beautiful and wow. Or all, both are like you said, insights. Either of them are to be explored and to be seen what is really present behind the curtain behind the wall, behind the subconscious, that we may not have discovered until this conversation. Right? So that's beautiful that you're already at the spot where you have wow. And oh, so you can explore this further. What I want us to at least start doing is to take away the, how tos take away the history of the past. Take away. What's possible. What's not possible. Take away the dogma of what may be around you and what's possible around you. And what's not possible around you think for, for half an hour, like an artist artist that has all the colors that, that they want, or they can have for that matter. And they are creating a painting of life or a movie director that has all the characters that they can ask for.
And now they're directing the movie. There is no limitation of budget. There's no limitation of colors. There's no limitation of anything. If you were to make that ideal movie, if you were to make that perfect picture, how does that look like? What does that picture look like? Feel into it, experience into it so we can get the truest version of what Karina really wants. And once we find out what Karina truly, truly wants, it'll be easy for us to define howtos because then we can map it. Then we can say, okay, here is what I really am chasing. This is what I really want in life. This is how I would like to live my life. And then from there, we can say, okay, what needs to be changed? What needs to be developed? What needs to be brought together? There's an analogy I use for decision-making.
And I think it's relevant in this understanding of how to do goal setting as well. Analogy is from the game of chess and poker. The analogy states that if you wanna play a game of chess, you don't necessarily think about your next move. You think about 10 moves ahead. 20 moves ahead. You think about where do I wanna be at the end of the game? How do I want my competitor to end up? And that's why your play is set based on the end game. Not necessarily, it's not decided by what the other person did. It's more decided by whether you want to be, and you're mapping yourself to that outcome in the best way possible. That's how life and vision is like. It doesn't come from the data of today. It comes from the ambition of tomorrow and day after, right? You decide where you'll want to be.
And then you play the game. And the day-to-day is more like a game of cards, which is basically you have a hand, you know, opponent end has a hand there's, uh, cards on the table. And based on that, you go, okay, what's my best next move. What is it that I can do to increase the probability of me winning this hand? But you only start the game of cards once you know, where you need to get in the game of chess. Once you know, where you need to get to in the game of chess, then on a day-to-day basis, you will be making card game like choices, which would be okay. If I want to say Karina wants in three years to live a particular life, you may be going, okay. I need to do this job for a year before.
I can feel that I have enough coaching clients and patient and, and consulting clients. But now I can safely put my cards down and say, I'm out. Right? And then my, and my job will also be done. I would've achieved the goal I had with this company maybe, or maybe not. Maybe you will go. My end goal is to contribute to women. And I am better served by actually keeping this job who knows. Right. But if you could change the analogy of trying to find don't play the game of poker when you're not player on the outcome of your chess game. Right? So if you could use that analogy and metaphor for yourself to, to not reflect on what is today, but more reflect on what you want it to be tomorrow day after, by that, I mean, two years, three years, five years into the future. Let's first define that. And then we'll think about what needs to happen today for it.

Karina (Coachee) (32:24):
Yeah, you're right.

Coach Ajit (32:24):
What's coming up for you, Karina? Do you feel like you have the best next step to take or a good next step to take?

Karina (Coachee) (32:31):
Yes, of course, of course. I like this exercise about the artist, because just in my mind, I always, but this is not going to happen or this, you don't have green in your palette. No. So forget about freeze. So yes, this, this mindset of possibilities could be very powerful in that moment and give you permission about anything that comes.

Coach Ajit (32:56):
Yeah. Because any, anything you can, Karina can create anything if given time and resources, if Karina gives attention and resources and time to anything, Karina knows that she can create anything. The true Karina that we, that we know is in your heart. Right?

Karina (Coachee) (33:13):

Coach Ajit (33:14):
Cool. So that's the action step. That's the final step? Is there something that you feel we need to explore more for you to feel complete today?

Karina (Coachee) (33:22):
Well, for, for sure there is more to combat, but at this moment I have enough in my mind and in my plate to do no, because this is a big step. This, this will resolve the question in my mind for the, for the last two years. You know? So I, I, I don't like to say no, there is no to explore because it is not that way. No, it's not. Okay. Thank you, AJ. We'll resolve the things. Thank no, it's, it's a continuous, you know, it's, it's the light is a continuous wow. And oath.

Coach Ajit (33:55):
Absolutely. Absolutely. And today in no way, can I promise anyone that yes, I would have completely given you everything that you need for the rest of your life. My hope is to give you one or two great things or enough good enough things that will help you take the next step. So for sure if that, uh, that you feel that you are complete today, I would wrap this session. Thank you so much for taking the time and coming out on our podcast here.

Karina (Coachee) (34:19):
Thank you. Great. You are very generous. Thank you very much.

Coach Ajit (34:23):
How interesting was that? Karina started the journey thinking that there is something in her that is stopping her to move, that there was a how to problem. And what we really found was this lack of clarity problem. It was lack of where is it that I really want to go? And why is it that I am trying to find out exactly how I need to get there instead of first taking my time in really identifying where is it that I even want to go? You see one of the keys to successfully coaching somebody in an area of life is to be able to turn their perspective to a long-term vision, long-term purpose that a person wants to fulfill their soul wants to fulfill. I call this connectedness. Connectedness is our ability to connect to a higher purpose and to humanity around us, we are capable of creating so much more that our minds, when it gets trapped into how to actually limits the potential that we truly have.
So if you or your clients are trying to find the answer of how will I get something, I first ask you to ask yourself, what is it that you truly want? What is it that you're even chasing? What is the life that you want to create and leave the how to, to be figured out in partnership with the universe as life unfolds, play the chess game, identify your chess outcome before you move to the poker game. As I explain in the metaphor, during the course of our conversation with Karina, how did you find this episode? How did you find the metaphors that we talked about in this episode? If you loved what you heard today, I really encourage you to leave the review. Your reviews matter a lot to us. When you leave us a review, it shows the Gar gods that our podcast is relevant to coaches and it shows to more and more coaches.
So they can engage in this dialogue and use the methodologies and techniques and coaching sessions in their own practice. The more coaches we have in the world, the better we have a chance of having even more awake, a more enlightened humanity. I encourage you to leave us a review and share this episode with someone that you think can truly use this conversation as their jump-off point to rediscover. What is it that they truly want in their life? Thank you so much for tuning in. This is Coach Ajit and you're listening to Master Coaching with Ajit.

Read more

Listen On

Recent Episodes