CHAPTER 4

Self-Coaching And
Your True Motivations

This final aspect of self-coaching is about motivation or to be more precise... it's about self-motivation.

This has to do with discovering what gets you up and out of bed each morning, what inspires you to move forward in all areas of your life and it will give you the knowledge you need to propel yourself towards any goal or dream.

This means the information and insights you'll discover with self-coaching around motivation is beyond priceless.

The ability to motivate yourself is the most critical skill you can have as you move through your journey to becoming an extraordinary coach...

And an extraordinary human being.

Knowing how to motivate yourself in ways that maximize your strengths and overcome personal traits and beliefs that are holding you back can create massive momentum toward your ideal future like nothing else can.

Self-motivation leads to self-reliance and it is also boosts other admirable traits such as discipline and perseverance -- qualities shared by the world's greatest coaches.

Unfortunately, motivation is a sticky subject for a lot of people because they are unclear on WHY they want what they want.

Self-coaching around self-motivation is about getting honest with yourself on exactly what gets you energized and enthusiastic about achieving your goals and dreams.

When you know what gets you fired up, the path to success, satisfaction with inner peace becomes clear.

You'll quickly move into higher levels of joy in your personal life and in your work as a coach with none of the "stuckness" and lack of inspiration that many people struggle with...

And the best part is you'll have a lot more fun along the way!

In the True Motivations activity below, you'll get up close and personal with the Paradigm of Desires from The Book of Coaching.

The Paradigm of Desires is based on the Hierarchy of Needs which was originally created by psychologist Abraham Maslow.

The Hierarchy categorizes basic needs every human being experience and it culminates in the need for self-actualization.

The True Motivations activity features the Paradigm of Desires which is modeled on 6 categories of human needs and desires. You'll also see further needs that take you Beyond the Paradigm which can be found in the Book of Coaching. 

First, read through each desire or need below. Then ask yourself each question and rate your answer.

Don't be fooled by the simplicity of the question and be 100% honest. Your answers will instantly shed light on the elements that influence your decision-making, mindset, actions and behaviors around self-motivation.

Use this knowledge to keep yourself focused when you come up against challenges or obstacles in your life and work.

True Motivations - Paradigm of Desires

Safety and Security

Food, shelter - everything you need to feel safe and secure in every way. This can show up as a desire to have a job with a monthly income, and a 401k plan, a desire to meet and settle down with a life partner, a desire to create consistent revenue in your business etc.

How much does safety and security motivate you and influence your decisions?

Rate from 1 to 5

 (1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

Variety

This is about the desire to enjoy the element of surprise and spontaneity in life. If you value variety, you are motivated by a deep desire for freedom. You love excitement and fun. This desire can show up as a love for travel, adrenaline-pumping sports, new projects, or a variety of partners and romantic relationships.

How much does variety motivate you and influence your decisions?

Rate from 1 to 5

(1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

Connection

This is about experiencing and enjoying community. It can show up as a desire for strong family relationships, and deep friendships. You may feel incomplete and disconnected or isolated unless you are part of an organization or belief system such as a spiritual organization or a weekly book club.

How much does connection motivate you and influence your decisions?

Rate from 1 to 5

 (1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

Significance

If you want significance it means you want to be recognized for your contributions and you want to be unique and stand out from the crowd. The desire for significance can show up as a strong urge to climb the corporate ladder or collect achievements, accolades, and material possessions.

How much does significance motivate you and influence your decisions?

Rate from 1 to 5

(1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

Growth

Growth is about learning, expanding your experiences, and stimulating the intellect. You are into knowledge accumulation and evolving as a human being. In business, this desire shows up as an ongoing need for improvement, innovation and enhancement of work performance, and business techniques and strategies.

How much does growth motivate you and influence your decisions?

Rate from 1 to 5

(1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

Contribution

You dream of having a positive impact on the world, paying it forward, or changing lives.  This shows up as a desire to give money, time or skills to others, performing acts of philanthropy or choosing work that allows you to serve (as a coach this is probably high on your list!).

How much does contribution motivate you and influence your decisions?

Rate from 1 to 5

 (1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

True Motivations - Beyond the Paradigm

Beyond the Paradigm of Desires, there are 5 other major needs that you reflect on when you want to understand yourself. While the Paradigm of Desires influences decisions, Beyond the Paradigm is about your thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviors.

#1 Love

The most common, universal element of all. The need for love is part of our makeup as humans. It is a built-in driver of our actions.

How much does your need for love motivate you and influence your actions and behaviors?

Rate from 1 to 5

(1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

#2 Belonging

From the moment we are born, we have the need to belong and to be a part of a group or community. We want to be included by others, and to be accepted by society.

How much does your need for belonging motivate you and influence your actions and behaviors?

Rate from 1 to 5

 (1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

#3 Worthiness

We all want to feel worthy. This powerful need is the reason why rejection of any kind hurts so much. Feeling worthy is also connected to confidence and self-belief.

How much does your need to feel worthy motivate me you and influence your actions and behaviors?

Rate from 1 to 5

(1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

#4 Enoughness

Just about everyone struggles with this one - feeling like we're not enough. This causes us to overcompensate. We turn into people pleasers and perfectionists. If you don't feel like you're enough, you'll constantly push yourself to do more, be more and achieve more.

How much does your need for enoughness motivate you and influence your actions and behaviors?

Rate from 1 to 5

(1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

#5 Validation

This is about feeling appreciated and acknowledged for your efforts and accomplishments. We want to be seen, heard, and desired, by others. It's in our nature as human beings. 

How much does my need for validation motivate you and influence your actions and behaviors?

Rate from 1 to 5

(1 = does not motivate you at all and 5 = massive motivating factor for you)

CHAPTER 5

21 Powerful Coaching Questions

  • For the coach looking to effectively elevate their coaching sessions 

Discover The 21 Most Powerful Coaching Questions

To Elevate Your Coaching Skills, And Trigger Powerful Aha Moments During Any Coaching Session, With Any Client

Use these proven, insight-prompting questions during any coaching session with a client to:

  • Create faster, more noticeable transformations
  • Evoke deeper and more frequent client-insights and Eureka moments
  • Grow your confidence and competence as a coach (whether you're just getting started, or been coaching for years)