CHAPTER 2
Self-Coaching
And Your Future Self
The first self-coaching technique or skill we'll get into here has to do with your future. It's the kind of work that a lot of coaches do with their clients but rarely do on their own.
This activity or technique is sometimes called The Future Self or Future You technique.
The Future Self is basically a visualization method that works as a blueprint or North Star to where you're headed in your life and in your work as a coach.
It's basically a pathway to connect with a version of yourself that has all the power of hindsight and accomplishment -- your Future Self.
This is the part of you that is ready to give you direction and focus on what you need to do to get to your most expansive, successful future.
Think of your Future Self as a wise mentor who knows you best and who also knows what's best for you.
The Future Self technique is especially helpful in self-coaching as it allows you to connect with the hidden truths and depths of your personality and identity, in a powerful way.
As you do this activity, keep in mind that your Future Self is someone who is "yet to be" and this means anything and everything is possible and within your reach.
The idea here is to allow yourself to go there... the place of highest potential, possibility and power. You can do this by leveraging your self coaching strategy.
The most important pitfall to look out for as you do this activity is the voice of self-doubt or scepticism. While self-doubt can be crippling to many, once you maneuver yourself through it, you can make the most out of this experience.
With recent developments in your surroundings, such as the effect of the pandemic, it could become tough for you. But reaching a better place through sustainable and long-lasting exercise will not only help you but also your prospective clients.
Begin the visualization with a sense of "anything is possible" and you'll find your answers give you the focus and direction you need to design a life and business that fires you up in all the right ways.
Fusing the Future Self technique into your self coaching strategy is a process that empowers you as a thought leader. By eliminating scepticism and self-doubt that plagues the minds of even the most seasoned thinker, this technique helps you broaden your scope in coaching.
As you go through the Take Action section below, you will be able to envision the use of Future Self in your work, and expand it in tandem to your self coaching exercises.
There are many versions of The Future Self exercise. The one you'll see below is designed especially for self-coaching purposes.
One great way to do this is to record yourself reading out the visualization and then follow the instructions in a relaxed state and with your eyes closed.
Answer the questions in your mind as you listen to your recording and then journal your answers when you're done.
Set aside 30 minutes to an hour to work through the visualization and questions. You can start by meditating for a few minutes, taking some deep breaths or doing any other activity that will help to get you into a calm, centered state.
Your Future Self Activity
Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths.
Now, imagine you're standing in a beautiful, gorgeous space, outdoors. Look around you...
Where are you? What does your environment look like?
Now turn toward your right and you'll notice a home. This is where your Future Self lives.
What does this home look like? What type of house is it? What is the color of the walls? Is there a garden? Are you in the middle of a big city?
Now, walk slowly toward the home and knock on the door. The door opens and you're face to face with your Future Self. You smile because you love what you see.
What does your Future Self look like? How are you standing? What are you wearing? Try to get a feel for the energy around your Future Self. Is it calm and quiet or enthusiastic and energetic?
Your Future Self invites you into the living room of the home.
You both sit down, facing each other. It's time to have a conversation. You ask your Future Self the following questions. After each question, take a moment to wait for the answers to arise, intuitively.
Question #1 for Your Future Self
What do I need most in my life right now?
Question #2 for Your Future Self
What is one thing you would like me to know?
Question #3 for Your Future Self
How can I get to where you are from where I am in my life, right now?
Question #4 for Your Future Self
Ask any question that comes up for you in the moment. This could be around a problem or challenge you're facing or a decision you need to make.
When you're done, thank your Future Self for sharing their wisdom. Leave the home and go back to where you were at the start. Take 3 slow deep breaths and open your eyes.
Go ahead and journal your answers to those questions.
CHAPTER 3
Self-Coaching And Getting To Know Yourself
Meeting your Future Self gives you a clear idea on what you want to do, be and have 5, 10 or 20 years in your future and, when you know that, you're ready to move to the next step in self-coaching...
Getting to Know Yourself and who you are right here right now.
All great coaches understand that self-awareness is the first step to lasting success and one of the biggest benefits of self-coaching is that it lets you see yourself fully and clearly.
This includes understanding your current beliefs, specifically the beliefs that are blocking your progress, your strengths, and positive traits as well as the areas that you may want to level up or transform so you can get to where you want to go in your life and work.
Cultivating self-awareness is one of the most transformational things you can do in your self-coaching journey and it is the foundational step to self-mastery.
The Getting to Know Yourself Now activity or strategy allows you to develop a deep understanding of who you truly are and what you really want.
The point is to understand yourself as fully and as deeply as you can.
The more you are in tune with your senses and knowledge, the better you can expand on it and apply it in your coaching strategy. Knowing yourself elevates your sense of self and gives you the mental flexibility to bring positive changes and outcome to your life, which can be later appended with improvements.
If you want to complement this activity and take it to the next level, consider working with established personality tests such as the Myers-Briggs test or the Enneagram in addition to the activity in the Take Action Section.
There are many versions of The Future Self exercise. The one you'll see below is designed especially for self-coaching purposes.
One great way to do this is to record yourself reading out the visualization and then follow the instructions in a relaxed state and with your eyes closed.
Answer the questions in your mind as you listen to your recording and then journal your answers when you're done.
Set aside 30 minutes to an hour to work through the visualization and questions. You can start by meditating for a few minutes, taking some deep breaths or doing any other activity that will help to get you into a calm, centred state.
Getting to Know Yourself - Beliefs
Identify an area of your business or your life that you are struggling with right now (for instance, maybe you're struggling with starting and growing your coaching business). When you've landed on a topic, ask yourself the following questions and journal your answers. You can apply these 6 questions to work through any challenge or problem.
Question #1
What is your current challenge or problem?
Eg: I'm struggling with growing my coaching business.
Question #2
Why do you think this is happening?
Eg: I'm not cut out to be an entrepreneur.
Question #3
How do I know this is true?
Eg: No one else in my family is an entrepreneur and I'm an introvert.
Question #4
Can you say that this is something that's true for every single person on the planet?
Eg: No. Not every entrepreneur comes from a family of entrepreneurs and some of them are introverts.
Question #5
How can I try a different approach? What have I learned from the past that can help me change this belief?
Eg: I can read about or learn from other entrepreneurs who are introverts and I have a dream of starting a business even though I don't believe I'm an entrepreneur.
Question #6
How would my life be different if I let go of this belief?
Eg: I can be a successful entrepreneur even though no one in my family is an entrepreneur and I'm an introvert.
Getting to Know Yourself - Personality
Now you're ready to dive into your personality... specifically your strengths and the aspects of yourself that you're ready to transform.
Question #1
Where do you shine? What are some of the things you're really good at?
Eg: writing, creating inventive dishes in the kitchen, gardening.
Question #2
What do people say they love about you?
Eg: your enthusiasm, your energy, your creativity.
Question #3
What are some of the areas where people seek your help?
Eg: Help them with their accounts, comfort them when they're down, come up with great ideas and solutions etc.
Getting to Know Yourself - Transformations
Question #1
What are some of the recurring complaints and feedback you receive from people in your life? Eg: You interrupt them when they speak, you're too competitive or judgmental, etc.
Question #2
Where do you find yourself procrastinating or "falling off the bandwagon" despite your best intentions?
Eg: Sticking to a budget, maintaining a healthy diet, etc.
Question #3
What were some of the biggest challenges you've had in your past?
Eg: Letting go of a relationship, motivating yourself to complete your projects, etc.
