November 2, 2021
Listen to Coach Ajit coaching live! In this episode, Coach Ajit is coaching Verlee, a new life and business coach who started her coaching business recently and finds herself holding back from fully reaching her potential. In this raw coaching...
Listen to Coach Ajit coaching live! In this episode, Coach Ajit is coaching Verlee, a new life and business coach who started her coaching business recently and finds herself holding back from fully reaching her potential.
In this raw coaching conversation, you will find Coach Ajit using his 4-part coaching session structure. This structure is useful whenever you are coaching someone. It is especially handy for first-time coaching conversations.
"Slow down to speed up." – Ajit Nawalkha
You will also experience the 4-part life coaching model called “The Process” in action. This coaching conversation has been edited for ease of listening but in essence, keeps all elements.
At the end of the episode, you will also find what went wrong in this coaching conversation.
"Courage is a function of preparation, passion, and safety." – Ajit Nawalkha
Look out for these key elements in the coaching conversation:
#1.
Are you struggling to be courageous? If yes, what shows up for you?
#2.
Would you try to use the habit-building model suggested at the end of the
coaching conversation to build a new habit for yourself?
#3.
What would you do when coaching a client like Veerle?
Coach Ajit (00:00):
You are listening to Master Coaching with
Ajit podcast that inspires coaches to impact the lives of their
clients more meaningfully. I am Coach Ajit and I'm known for coaching high performers,
entrepreneurs,
and leaders. I'm also a serial entrepreneur and author of many books. On this podcast, I am
answering
your burning questions. I'm also demonstrating and deconstructing behind-the-scenes coaching
sessions.
And in this episode, we are exploring how to find courage and how to stop holding yourself back. When you are executing ideas that you love or business principles that you love in your business. We are going to do that by actually listening to a coaching session that I did with one of our community members who are she finds herself, not courageous enough to take actions and finds herself holding back to pursue her own dreams. Here's where our journey started with Veerle. She sent me a question which said I started my business last year and feel like I'm holding myself back mainly because I'm afraid of my own success. This thought is keeping me small. I feel that I can become very successful if I really go for it. And I'm very excited to grow my business, but there's always an underlying fear of what if that really happens.
Can I handle it? So my question is mostly how do I create the capacity to step into my fullest potential so that I can really have the business in life that I have dreamed of really was in a position where she knew what her dreams were. She knew she wanted to get them, but for some reason, she found herself not being able to take the courageous steps that she needed to take for her to find success that she truly desired. After our conversation, she highlighted two very specific wins that she found right off the conversation. First one was she found what is really holding her back. And the second thing was that she got the necessary steps that she need to take action toward to words for her to be able to create a more courageous life. Here is something she shared with me a day later.
I wanna share this with you. So you have some context of what you can expect from this episode where they sent me this note, "Hi, Ajit. I promised here's my update from day one, after our conversation, a few hours after the call, I have taken the time to reflect. And actually I'm still reflecting. I've written a lot in my journal and spoke to my fiance about my insights. One of the action steps that I decided to take is to make a big painting with take space on it and put it into our living room and remind myself every day of the importance of this concept and the new story I wanna tell myself. I haven't created this yet, but I plan to do so this weekend also I took almost three hours to watch the recording today because I paused it every time to take notes and to reflect even further on your questions and my answers during this call. I think this already has been super helpful to me. And this is only day one. Thank you so much again for your continuous support. It means a lot."
Thank you so much for sending me this beautiful note. Now, during the course of listening to this conversation, I want you to look out for two specific structures that you will see me follow. I wanna share these structures with you so you could see for yourself how these play out in a coaching session. The first structure you're looking out for is the structure of the coaching session itself. You'll see me first build rapport. Then you will see me set an objective with Veerle and then you'll see me decide action steps with her. This four part structure helps me deliver in every coaching session that you will hear me deliver. Also on this podcast. The second structure you're looking for is the structure that I use when I am coaching.
When I'm coaching, while it may seem like my structures all over the place, usually it would follow a four part structure. The first part would be presence or getting your client into the present and understand the value of it. The second part will be where I'll help them organize their mind or guide them and work with them to organize their mind. The third part would be where we will work on bioengineering stuff, which is more related to habits. And how do we become a peak performer? And lastly would sometimes talk about connectedness. Now in this particular episode, you will not see me go so much into it. Mostly because we ran out of time. This is the first time I was talking to Worley. This is the first time I've coached her. So she's not a client. I've had a lot of experience with, but you will see me build rapport really fast.
You will see me set some really clear objectives, help her really as much as possible in a really short period of time, and also give her things that she can do in the coming 90 days. That is certain to help her change her life. This is a packed life coaching conversation. Ley sat down with this recording for three hours and she was still having moments of insight and was taking notes. My invitation for you is to listen to this conversation carefully and see how it reflects into your own life or how you can use the tools that I demonstrate in this coaching session with your clients. Here is something I want you to notice on top of this. There was one really classic new coach mistake I made during the entire session. I only realized this mistake when I was reviewing this session. I want you to listen in for that mistake. At the end of this podcast, I will tell you exactly what mistake I made and how I intend to correct it. I'll also reflect on how you may be making that mistake and how you wanna be careful if you want more meaningful impact in your client's life. Now, as you're experiencing this conversation, I invite you to share this recording with someone that you feel can benefit from this conversation as well. Now, without further ado, let's go right into it.
Hi Veerle.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:05:59):
Hi.
Coach Ajit (00:06:00):
How are you doing?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:06:01):
Nice. Nice to, uh, to meet you here and have
this opportunity. I'm very excited.
Coach Ajit (00:06:06):
Absolutely. I'm very excited to discuss what we are
gonna discuss today. So, uh, first of all, before we
even talk about anything else, tell me how you doing today?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:06:16):
Um, good. Yes. Um, I was a bit like, I guess
nervous or, you know, kind of like before, but it's, it's mostly
excitement. So, um, yeah, I'm just happy for this, this moment and actually being coached by
you. Um,
yeah, that's, that's just a beautiful opportunity. So I'm happy about that.
Coach Ajit (00:06:37):
Well, I'm blessed to have the opportunity to speak
with you today and coach you today in helping you
create the life of your dreams. So I'm super excited and, and, and pumped about this opportunity
as
well. Uh, how, how is the day today? How, how did you feel? How is it like evening time for you?
I'm
guessing you're somewhere in Europe.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:06:55):
Yes, I'm um, in the Netherlands. So it's 6:00 PM
right now. Um, so yeah, it's, it's not dark yet, but it's, it's
getting, uh,
Coach Ajit (00:07:18):
That's fantastic. That's fantastic. You're ready for a conversation.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:07:21):
Yeah, definitely.
Coach Ajit (00:07:23):
So, uh, tell me, what do we wanna talk about today?
Firstly, let's start with like any, any good
conversation to make most of our 45 minutes, uh, that we have together today. Let's set
ourselves up to
some great objectives as to what is it that we want to achieve, let's say after these 45
minutes, mmhmm,
Veerle (Coachee) (00:07:47):
Yeah, I, I feel like, um, as I shared before as
well, I feel like I'm holding myself back with my, um,
ambitions and, and the things I want to achieve. So what I hope to get out of this session is,
um, I guess
some inspiration and empowerment, how I can get myself to the next level and actually really,
um, kind
of like push myself into, to, to being, uh, more courageous maybe to, to do the things that I, I
need to do
to really achieve the growth that I'm looking for in, in my business.
Coach Ajit (00:08:25):
Okay. Okay. What, what is it that you're trying to do
in your business?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:08:31):
Um, so now I'm really focusing on, on growing my
business. So, um, I started last year, last year, I got
certified as a coach and now I'm, I'm really working on, um, getting more visibility that people
I can
actually find me and, and know what I do. And, and just, um, first of all, trying to get an
income, um, like
just that, that that's, um, you know, a monthly income that really, um, can pay all the bills
and
everything. And then from there, of course I want to even grow further and, and, and really, um,
make it
a bigger success.
Coach Ajit (00:09:06):
Mm. Have you taken, ever the opportunity Verla to
really ask yourself what stops you? I hear that you
say I'm holding myself back, I'm looking for inspiration, empowerment. I want to be more
courageous. I
want to grow my business. Have you had a chance to reflect, to say, Hey, this is what is
stopping me.
Have you, have you had a chance to reflect on that at all?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:09:28):
Yes. I have been thinking about it because I was
like, you know, where does this feeling come from?
And, um, first of all, I was like, is it some kind of fear of failure because that's often what
you hear like
that, that you're afraid, you know, that it doesn't work out. But I found out when I was
reflecting on this, that that's not really what is holding me back because I actually already
feel successful in my business by
all the things I have been doing. And like, even if I would decide tomorrow that, you know, this
is not
going to work out, I even feel like then it's not a failure anyway, because I, I feel like I had
so much
personal growth already and all the amazing things I have done and the experiences I've had so
far, and
even like things like this, you know, those opportunities that makes it all worth it already.
So I, I feel like it's not a fear of failure. That's, that's holding me back. Um, but somehow it's kind of like a fear, like what if it's really going to be big and successful? And it's, it's weird because that's like what you're going for, that's what you want. But it's somehow also scary. Um, but I'm, I'm not sure, like I'm trying to find out, like, where does that fear come from and how can I actually work through it? Um, because like, I also feel it's part of growing, of course, like stretching your comfort zone all the time. Um, but yeah, I guess I, I'm just finding a way to make it more, um, to get myself in a better flow somehow that, that even though some things are scary and, and I want to achieve those big things that I can actually do it in a more like, um, you know, balanced way or that I actually feel more excited about it than, than scared if that makes sense. Mm.
Coach Ajit (00:11:13):
It absolutely does. Absolutely. That's beautiful. So
one, congratulations, first of all, that you were able to
diagnose where it may be, the resistance may be coming from that. You understand that you're not
fearful of it. You are more fearful of what I may, if I may re reposition it and say it, uh,
that what if it
does work out and that is your challenge. It's not what if it doesn't work? Out's more about
what if does
work out. So again, just leaning further into it, because what I'm really curious about here
Veerle is what
is that dimension that is really stopping you to be able to say that you're not courageous to
able to say,
I'm holding myself back. Like there must be something that invites that mental dialogue or that
mental
thinking pattern in you. So if I could ask you further to, to get to that understanding is what
does, what if
it does work out what is so fearful about it? Is there something that you're like, okay, if it
works out, if I
get this success, if I get this achievement unlocked, that whatever that is, that you want name,
fame,
money, uh, happiness, joy, whatever it is, let's say it gets unlocked a hundred percent. Let's
try and
travel five years ahead into the future. What if it does work out? So what is it about, what if
it does work
out scares you?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:12:36):
Yeah, that's, that's the, the toughest question, I guess, that I'm, I'm trying to,
to figure out maybe it's
um, yeah, I don't know. It has something to do with maybe like being like very visible, um,
because like
on one hand I'm not really, um, you know, scared, for example, to, to be visible on social
media. I
actually like to record videos and all of that, but that's still like, kind of like in a safe,
uh, something that I
feel comfortable about. So maybe, um, if I, if I get so successful that I don't really know what
to expect
about that, that I'm scared of that it's maybe the, just the unknown, like, okay, what does it
actually look
like if I, if I grow my business and, and get very successful and, um, yeah. Get so many clients
and
exposure. Mm. But of course you can't really know what it looks like until you are there. Right.
So
Coach Ajit (00:13:45):
Mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:14:12):
Of this? Yeah, I think so. Yes. Mm-hmm
Coach Ajit (00:14:15):
And that future is a desired future. You just don't
know the consequences of it.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:14:20):
Mm-hmm
Coach Ajit (00:14:22):
Because you wanna get more visible, but you're just
concerned about the consequences of that
visibility. Firstly, I wanna invite you into a concept. It's called a concept of presence, the
concept of the
moment, uh, and the, and the concept really relies on the idea that time at time. And the
stories that we
tell ourselves based on time is what creates our present reality, right? So you, we tell
ourselves a story
of who we are based on the time that has gone by, right? So your past, uh, events in life
circumstances
that you may have overcome challenges that you may have overcome, start to define who we really
is,
right? And you go, this is who I am, right? Because these are the stories I've lived. And this
is the
understanding of developed about myself, for who I really am, but these stories are selected,
right? And
it's based on our circumstances that we select the story. Some of us tend to pick the negative
stories a
lot more, or these were the challenges I had in life. And so, you know, and this kind of person,
some of
us tend to say, oh, these are all the successes I've had. Or these were all the great things
about me and
they create a story, but it's more a matter of perception of how we looked at our past to create
who we
truly are. Would you say that's somewhat accurate to your life as well?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:15:42):
Yes, I think so. Yes.
Coach Ajit (00:15:43):
Your current understanding of self is inspired by your
reflection of your past stories.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:15:48):
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because of, yeah. It forms who
you are today, right? Like what has happened in the
past. Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:15:54):
Yeah. And then there's the future, which informs all
of our fears and concerns about everything is what
we do is we take the stories of the past and we develop a future because that's the data point
that our
mind has our soul has. Right? This is all that has happened in my life. This is what I've dealt
with. And
because this has been the story, this is going to be the story of the future. Right. And if
there is
something that is out of ordinary in the future story, it tends to create fear and concern and
challenge.
And you know, like, I don't want this because I'm not ready for it because that's not who I am.
So it conflicts with your current reality or your, your understanding of the past or
understanding yourself,
would you say that also resonates with you a little bit?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:16:37):
Yes. Because it's something completely different
than what I've done in the past. Um, mm-hmm
Coach Ajit (00:17:19):
Mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:17:21):
Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:17:22):
Right. So let's talk about the moment that we are in
right now, right. This moment where we are having
a conversation, and this is a concept that helps bring us to the moment and hopefully helps us
find
courage as well. Okay. So, because we built ourselves in this story of the past, right? So
whatever
happened in the past that defines us. And because we are always fearful of the uncertainty of
the
future, what tends to happen is because the fear or because of the story, we never really get to
live the
moment that we are in. Right. Because mm-hmm,
Yeah. Now what happens with that is if we continue to not live in this present moment, what will happen is we will forget that all a present moment really is, is a creation of past and future at the same time. If you really think about it, the moment that has passed by just 30 seconds ago or a minute ago is already in the past. And the future that is happening as of now in this moment, as I speak, these words is already in the future. Right. And because the past and future is happening at the same time, present is the perfect moment to create any new reality in life.
Okay. Yeah. I, I like that. Yeah.
We can't control the future because it's happening and it is going to stay uncertain. And as
human beings, we want to control things. Mm-hmm,
So you have a fascinating problem. So kudos to you to already be in that mental state to say, I know I'm gonna be successful, but I know there's some fear that is on the consequences of success. So amazing problem to be in let's dive into the present moment and really ask ourselves as to if I was to believe in the concept that we just talked about. And it seems like you're nodding an agreement. And so I'm gonna assume that you have somewhat of an agreement here and at least conceptually in principle about what we just talked about. Let's lean into the idea of courage. Let's lean into the idea of holding myself back. Let's lean into the idea of, I need inspiration, empowerment, and so on and so forth. This is where our dialogue started. Right. So we are coming back to that area. What do you believe courage is? What is that courage that you're looking for? What do, what is the curse you seek in the moment?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:21:46):
Um, I think just every like challenge or
everything, that's new that I haven't done before. That comes my
way that I'm just like, okay, let's just go for it and see what happens even though, you know,
it's new or,
um, I'm like, I, I'm not sure how, how to do this, but I'm just going to go for it. That kind of
like that type
of, uh, feeling. Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:22:13):
Tell me more. Tell me more. So that's courage. What do
you mean when you say I'm holding myself
back? What does that show up as in this moment? What is hold, how do you feel that you're
holding
yourself back? How do you feel that you are not inspired or not feeling empowered or not feeling
as
courageous as you would like to?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:22:32):
Um, that I, that I still do have, like, those
things that I'm like, oh, maybe this will be good to do, find a
business to grow, but then I'm like, yeah, maybe later I, I don't think I'm ready yet. You know,
kind of like
that, that, um, uh, yeah, that's what I, I tell myself sometimes. And I feel like, of course
that slows me
down because if I would just say, okay, I'm just going to do it. Even though I don't feel ready,
then I, I
feel like I will grow faster. Um, but that's, that's, I, I guess why I feel like I'm holding
myself back
sometimes that I'm like, I, I think I could do this, but I don't do it yet. I'm kind of like
waiting for the, the
perfect moment, which yeah. Will, will never happen. Of course.
Coach Ajit (00:23:20):
Hmm. What are the kind of things that you find yourself holding back or not finding
the courage to do?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:23:28):
Um,
Coach Ajit (00:23:30):
Give an example so I can truly understand
Veerle (Coachee) (00:23:32):
What you
Coach Ajit (00:23:33):
Mean by, I should do this for my business, but I don't
do it.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:23:36):
Um, for example, just reaching out to, to people
more to, um, sell my services, um, kind of like now I feel
like I'm in the states that people come to me and then I'm like, okay, yes, let's have a have a
call. And,
and, you know, and, and that's how, how my conversations go, but it's not yet that I'm like
reaching out
to people for opportunities. Or for example, I, I got invited to speak at a few podcasts, so
then I'm like,
oh yeah, sure, great things for inviting me, let's do this. But you know, if I, I'm not going
out there yet to,
to ask, for example, someone like, can I, uh, do you, do you like to have me as, as your guest
speaker or,
you know, those type of things? So I guess so far, I, I kind of feel lucky, lucky that those
things just came
to me. And then when it came to me, I grabbed the opportunity, but I'm not going out there yet
to, to
chase those opportunities.
Coach Ajit (00:24:36):
Mm. So you find yourself in a state of inion when you
have to reach out. That is one of the examples
that
Veerle (Coachee) (00:24:43):
Is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Because then
Coach Ajit (00:24:46):
You think it could have, sorry, go on, sorry.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:24:48):
Oh yeah. I just wanted to add like, then if I
have to take action, that's when those thoughts come in, like
yeah. Maybe later, you know? Um, yeah. And then I guess when someone reaches out to me, that's
kind
of already a confirmation, like, oh, okay. So they want to work with me. Um, so then I'm like,
okay, let's
go for it. So, yeah, it's a di it's this diff difference in, in, in mindset somehow,
Coach Ajit (00:25:14):
Do you feel that there is an, and this is a question
I'm, I'm discovering here with you, is that there, the
reason you don't find courage in those moments where you don't take action in those moments,
could it
be, is that, that there is some kind of consequences that you're concerned about is why you
don't take
action or is it that you have a really busy practice? And so you don't take action or could it
be something
else that, that is stopping you to take action? Because clearly, like you said, you were happy
to do
Instagram videos. You're happy to do, you know, things your business is doing well, it's growing
at up
pace. You may want more pace, which is a different conversation, but, uh, what is it according
to you?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:26:01):
Um, yeah, maybe it it's, it's, I'm just thinking
like, maybe it's, it's still some sort of underlying fear. Like
what if someone says, no, although I'm, I'm Al also always kind of telling myself, like, you
know, if, if
someone doesn't want to work with me, that's, that's fine. Then we're, we're not a match or it's
not the
right time for that person. You know? Like I, I tell myself those, those things as well. Um, but
maybe it's
still there somehow that I'm like, if I don't take action and at at least, I mean, nothing is
going to happen,
but it's also that nothing bad is going to happen. Maybe that's kind of like, what's on the need
there.
Coach Ajit (00:26:42):
You can take some more minister reflect on it if you
want to go further, because I don't want to be
suggestive here. I am simply curious to see where is that? Is that courage or is that fear or is
that
something else that stops you from doing what you know is right for you to do?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:27:03):
Yeah, I, I, I'm not really sure, sure. What it
is. We don't,
Coach Ajit (00:27:06):
Yeah. We don't have to get to the answer in this
pretty second. If you need a minute to reflect you can,
but if you have something we can continue to talk.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:27:16):
Yeah. It it's, um, maybe, maybe it's just a, a
combination of those things, actually, that I'm thinking
about. Like, maybe it is like that. I feel like I have to be courageous, but that pressure is
kind of also
holding me back sometimes that I'm like, no. Okay. Um, you don't have to do everything at the
same
time. Um, yeah. I think it's a combination maybe of that.
Coach Ajit (00:27:42):
Beautiful. The reason why I asked that question and
the reason why I want you to reflect on that, and
maybe you could take this as one of the things to further reflect, even post our coaching
session,
because maybe something else will come up
Veerle (Coachee) (00:27:55):
Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:27:56):
Is courage itself. And if you were to talk about
courage itself is, is taking action with the idea that is
some safety and people think courage is just going at something mindlessly. That's not what
courage is.
That's not how courage looks like in the real world. It is a great idea to say, but courage is a
function of
preparation. It's a function of passion and it's a function of what do you feel is safe, right?
Mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:29:10):
Mm-hmm
Coach Ajit (00:29:11):
It's like, um, when athletes like the crazy athletes
that we see jumping off snow cliffs and everything
Veerle (Coachee) (00:30:05):
Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:30:07):
We are fearful of what, when we are reaching out to a
potential client, according to you,
Veerle (Coachee) (00:30:12):
Well, I guess one of the fears is, is then like
that, that person's like, I don't want to, to, to work with you.
Or I think for me, it's even more like, don't kind of like spend me with, you know, any, um,
anything you
want to sell. I, I guess that's, that's kind of like a feeling, um, not even when you have had a
conversation
that the person's like, yeah. Maybe, maybe this is not the time, but maybe even before that,
like the first
response, when you re reach out to someone.
Coach Ajit (00:30:45):
Yeah. And that's a genuine fear. We don't wanna be
rejected. We wanna be accepted as human beings.
Yeah. You wanna be loved. Right. We wanna be loved. We wanna be accepted. What happens when
somebody says, I don't want you,
Veerle (Coachee) (00:30:59):
Yeah. I guess it's also because like these days
you also get so many messages, just those in your inbox of
people like that want to sell yourself, like out of the blue that I'm like, I don't want to be
that person,
you know,
Coach Ajit (00:31:47):
Very interesting. So you don't wanna bother people.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:31:50):
Yeah. I guess, I guess that's, it's
Coach Ajit (00:31:52):
Out to people is bothering them.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:31:55):
Yeah. I guess that's, that's more than, than,
than if they say like, uh, no, I don't want, want to work with
you. Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:32:02):
Mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:32:16):
Yeah, of course. I don't know that.
Coach Ajit (00:32:18):
Oh, you don't know that for sure. So we are, we are
projecting right now thinking that if I send a
message to someone, they will be bothered.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:32:25):
Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:32:26):
For some reason, because we are bothered when we
receive a message. Is that what the reason is to
believe that somebody else will be watered?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:32:34):
Yeah. I guess that's where it comes from maybe,
but although I'm, I'm not really like, um, you know, if
someone reaches out with like a genuine conversation, I'm also not bothered. So I guess, ah,
yeah. I
guess it's the way you would reach out to someone.
Coach Ajit (00:32:54):
So the, so let's address that let's dive a little bit
there. Right? So here's what happens in our minds. Um,
when something happens as an event, like getting an email or a message or a call is that we look
at it
and we start to come up with a story before anything happens. Our mind goes into autopilot
because
our brains are wired in a way to protect itself all the time. So it wants to make the meaning
based on our
past, right. Mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:33:51):
Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:33:52):
Right. And that is the same thing that's happening for
you before even sending the message, you made
up a story as you receive a message, you make up a story. And because we make up these stories,
we
actually lose the opportunity of really knowing what's happening. Right? Like you shared, if
there was
someone who had a genuine message for you, something that was meaningful to you, you would
actually be excited to receive that email, that message, that phone call, whatever that is.
Right. When I
sent you the email saying, Hey, early, I would love to bring you on the podcast where you like
damage it.
Why are you doing this? Why do I have to get on a podcast with you and do this coaching thing
that
you're offering? Did you say that?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:34:35):
No. Of course not, no.
Coach Ajit (00:34:36):
Annoyingly sent me an email. Fine. If you said it, I
will do this for you. Is that what you did?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:34:42):
No, no, no. At all. No. I was very excited when
I received it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:34:48):
So teams, things that we want, we are excited about,
right?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:34:50):
Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:34:52):
If you were really searching for a candy and somebody
gave you a candy, you were excited about it,
right?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:34:59):
Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:34:59):
So could it be, and I'd love for you to explore this.
Could it be that you were projecting your annoyance
with a few people into lives of many that could have an opportunity to actually get the benefit
of
working with you?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:35:15):
Yeah, I think, um, I think it it's, it's part
that like annoyance, but also, yeah. But I mentioned before, like, I
don't want to, to bottle someone even though yeah. I, I guess if people yeah, interested then it
doesn't
feel like that. Um, so, so that's probably also one of the things that is holding me back, what
we, we
spoke about. Like, um, yeah. Feeling like, like I'm, I'm taking that space. Uh, yeah. I guess, I
guess it's
related to that.
Coach Ajit (00:35:47):
Would you think that there is a possibility that you
are actually showing up to help somebody?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:35:52):
Yeah, because that's, that's what I, what I want
to do. Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:35:56):
Mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:36:07):
Mm, not really. Yeah. I mean, if they would just
find me online, but then I'm still out there, like sharing
things. So
Coach Ajit (00:36:16):
Mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:36:16):
Coach Ajit (00:36:20):
Mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:36:37):
Yeah. I guess that's what happens now. Like, I
hope that the things I share that, that resonates with
people and they're like, oh yeah. Uh, let me reach out to her and see how we can work together.
Yeah.
And then when someone reach out, I'm like, oh, okay. That person likes what I do. Let's let's
start a
conversation. That's mm-hmm
Coach Ajit (00:36:57):
So could it be that our entire discovery of courage on
what stops you may not even be the path that you
want to follow. So let me reflect on what I, what I mean by this. So we understand where we,
where we
are coming from. Right. So when I asked you, what do you not find courage in? What is it that
you hold
yourself back? You say, well, because I don't reach out to people one on one for them to work
with me.
Right. I got that part. Right, right. But right now you're saying I'm happy to post videos all
the time. And if they find me interesting and exciting, they should reach out to me. Right. Why
is it important to you to
find courage, to reach out to people?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:37:38):
Because I, I feel like if I reach out to people,
um, that's, that's how I can grow my business because I, I
don't want to just sit and wait for people to come to me.
Coach Ajit (00:37:50):
But are you sitting and waiting because you said you
create content constantly and you're happy to
create more content. And if it's good, people will come to you.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:37:58):
Yeah. I guess that's, that's also a story that I
tell myself because yes, I I'm actually doing a lot of stuff.
Mm. Um, and I guess the story I, I tell myself is like, I also have to reach out to people
because otherwise
I'm just waiting for people to come to me. Mm-hmm
Coach Ajit (00:38:15):
So there are two, two dimensions. We can explore this
mm-hmm
. One is we could explore
the fundamental idea, whoever implanted that in your head, that you must reach out to people to
grow
your business. Whoever implanted that idea is whoever implanted that idea, because they created
that
story for their own lives. And they were able to get their clients like that. For me, I reach
out to people
and that's how I've secured my high end clients. I don't have the resistance of taking space in
somebody
else's life. So I am very happy to take rejection. I'm very happy to take space because I see
value in that.
So it's my path. It may not be your path. So firstly, my path is not equal to less path and same
is true for,
you know, uh, the other way around. Right? So, so that could be one dimension we can explore.
And we can look for empowerment toward saying, well, maybe you are making up a story about
that. You need to reach out to people and that's all it is. And we explore that further, that
further
empower you to create even more content, more powerful content, continue that, that tangent of
growth. And you will be able to create your business in that dimension because there is no right
and
wrong ways. Let's be, let's be, let's be through with, uh, together on this, right. Mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:40:17):
Yeah. I think the taking space part is the, the
most challenging one. Uh, if I think about it. Yeah. Mmhmm
Coach Ajit (00:40:31):
Sure, absolutely. So barely if I was to ask you and we
are gonna lean a little bit into past for this and, and
let's, let's see if we can unravel something to, to really discover what may be happening. If I
was to look
at your story of life. And if I was to ask you to maybe close your eyes for, for hot second
hair, mm-hmm
Coach Ajit (00:42:15):
Mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:42:15):
And usually it worked out like that as well,
because I just worked hard, hard for the things I wanted to
achieve. And then usually most of the things went well, like in school and, and all of that. Um,
so
Coach Ajit (00:43:00):
So feel because other people will jealous now you feel
you can take people's space or you can be in
somebody else's space.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:43:09):
Well, I guess, I guess it sometimes holds me
back to really fully express myself and, and share my
successes that I'm like, oh, maybe I'm being too much kind of that, that feeling
Coach Ajit (00:43:24):
What's wrong with being too much.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:43:26):
Yeah. Nothing really
Coach Ajit (00:43:53):
Really we are a function of a lot of beliefs, a lot of
limiting beliefs, and we can explore all of them. We
can explore none of them. And either of the scenario, life is going to continue to be beautiful.
If there is
something that is inherently true about you. And, and if you approach life that way, if you
approach life
as the beautiful art, that it is a beautiful movie, that it is that we get to play whatever role
we wanna
play. You see, every event causes a triggered thinking pattern, right? We start to go, oh, I
wanna think
about, uh, that I am holding back because I take people's space. That's a thinking pattern.
Mm-hmm
And now you're like, okay, I need to hold myself back. And so, hence now you've developed
this
pattern of thinking, oh, I don't wanna take space in people's lives. Maybe there was a bad
boyfriend or a
parent or whatever it was, or girlfriend or whatever that was. But somebody told you
repeatedly, Hey,
you're in my space directly or indirectly. And now you believe that you take too much space.
If you send
a message to someone that is actually in their interest, the person who's receiving it as
much as it is in
your interest is always more in the interest. The person that is receiving it, because the
benefit of
outcome that possible with the coach is significantly greater than the benefit that the
coach gets is a
financial benefit. Mm-hmm
Mm-hmm
So I'm gonna do what I think is the right next strategy for me. And next strategy
could be
producing 10 times more videos, or it could be, I wanna personally reach out to
people again, there's no
good or bad strategies. They're, they're more aligned with the person or not aligned
with the person.
They're all good strategies. Mm-hmm
When you're about to get into that state, when you're about to do that act,
there would be two
thinking patterns that will show up one would be, oh, I'm gonna take space in
their life. Right? And the
second thinking pattern that I am introducing in your life right now, and there
will be multiple. So it
doesn't have to limit itself to, there could be many more and they are always
available because that's
how our minds are. They can think all of the things, it chooses to follow the
pattern. That's the easiest,
which is why it holds you back. And you can't get out of the rack. Right?
Because you're choosing that
part because it's the easiest one it's defaults to you, right. It's like living
your past every day, right? Yeah. So you are living Groundhog day every day. For
that particular event of when you're about to send a
message to someone Groundhog day, same pattern repeats itself.
You get back into the same cycle. You don't take action. You don't find the
courage. You tell
yourself the same story, right? I'm taking space in somebody's life. Now you can
choose to stay that
ground. Or you can say, all right, I'm gonna switch this around. I'm gonna try
something else. I'm actually
gonna tell myself a different story, my mind, a different story, and say a more
empowered thinking for
me now, the new barely that lives in this moment and enjoys every moment as if
it's a new one that I'm
creating a new future. Every moment I'm creating a new past every moment, and
I'm gonna choose the
idea that I'm not taking anybody's space. I'm actually just being of service.
I'm simply sending a message
out of my heart's kindness to people so that they could be awakened to what is
available in the world to,
so that I can help them awaken to the purpose that they can live through my
coaching experience or just
through a conversation with me.
I don't even have to get them to say yes. Right? Yeah. That's a different
thinking pattern. Now in
no way me saying that, and you hearing that, that thinking pattern will
automatically happen. It won't
right next time. You're about to get into action. The same old repeated
comfortable. Pattern's gonna
show up and you can choose though. Now you have a different choice and you can
come up with more
thinking patterns that are true for you, right? You can say if service is not
your big driver, if money is
your big driver, and I'm not saying that is, but I'm saying, let's say it was,
you can say, well, I am choosing
that. I'm an abundance being, and I'm not getting in anybody's space when I'm
creating my abundance,
because abundance is for everyone. They will be wealthier by working with me.
And I will be wealthier
by working with them.
Both of us gets the benefit of this. There is another thinking pattern that you
can choose.
Whatever's your primary driver. If you choose a thinking pattern that aligns
with that, for me service,
which is why that was the first obvious one for me, right? I'm like I'm being a
service. It doesn't matter if
in somebody's space because how are they going to change? If I don't show up as
that, you know, that
growth person that is going to come by their side and give them a little nudge
so they can stop repeating
the pattern that they have. Right?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:50:30):
Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:50:30):
And so I am that, and that's how I wanna show up.
That's my story. That's the pattern I choose. So my
invitation for you is to, is to think what are some of the other patterns that you can choose
and how can
you choose that every time this occurs. And that's why living in the present moment is so vital
and so
important. That's why the first thing that we did was to say, remember that every moment is new
and
you can choose to live your past, and it will just stay that. Yeah. And you will be Groundhog
day every
day. Or you can say this moment is where I get to create a new pass and a new future at the same
time,
because this is the only place where I can do that. And so I can do that, whatever I can do
whatever,
because my life is like that, right? My life is full of basically a lot of present moments that
I can keep
creating. And a year from now, my past looks completely different and my future looks completely
different because every present moment for the next one year creates the new past and the new
future.
Right. With that idea. Would you think going forward, you would find yourself if you find
yourself in
these moments, do you think the idea of different thinking patterns and choosing an empowered
thinking can help you shift a little bit from your old pattern?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:51:44):
Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I think so. Because now
I'm just, I was just in that old pattern and actually, I think I
now actually realized where it came from. Um, so would
Coach Ajit (00:51:55):
You like to tell more about that?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:51:57):
Yeah, I think it, it it's really that taking
space because while you were mentioning that, I was also
thinking, yeah, it's not just to clients actually. It's also, um, with friendships, like when,
when someone
sends me WhatsApp message, oh, do you want to have, have coffee or something? I'm like, oh yeah,
sure. But then like me reaching out to someone already feels like, oh, maybe they're busy. You
know,
like that's the same type of, of thought pattern. Um, so it, I guess it's just like with
everything I do that I
want to yeah. Not take up any space. So just realizing that I think it has, it will really help
me to make
that shift. And every time when I, when I get into a situation like that, just realizing like,
no, I know
where this, this comes from. Uh let's yeah. What you mentioned, let's use a more empowering
thought
and, and see what happens. Yeah.
Coach Ajit (00:52:50):
I have two invitations for you. Okay. First invitation
is as a follow up to our conversation, I would love for
you to sit in meditation. If that is, that is something that you do mm-hmm
Veerle (Coachee) (00:53:20):
Yeah,
Coach Ajit (00:53:22):
Because clearly that is not only showing up in your
businesses, showing up in your friendships. It
probably shows up in your partnership. If you have a love partnership, it probably shows up with
your
parents. It probably shows up everywhere in your life. And it has been created in your heart by
a
subconscious event that happened. And you've developed that. And there are two paths after that
one.
And I invite to do the first one first and then do the second one first is to accept that
happened and
forgive that happened and know that once you have forgiven, sometimes it is just one time you
have to
do. Sometimes it is five times. You have to do. Sometimes you have to make it a daily practice
per
month, before you really forgive something first, forgive the person and the event, then forgive
yourself
to live that way.
So you don't hold any grudge against yourself and let that go. Mm-hmm
I feel like it is through our conversation. Yeah. Um, so I really think you should do
this work and
that's the first way of doing it. And I invite you to stuck with that and don't
associate a timeline to it.
Sometimes it's easy for us to let go of things. And sometimes it's really, really,
really hard. It can take
months. It can take years mm-hmm
Because a habit is formed by reoccurrence of something, but it is mostly
there because there's a
reward associated to it. So when you follow the pattern of saying, oh, I
am going to hold myself back
here and I'm gonna take space in somebody's life. It actually rewards
you something, it rewards you
comfort. It rewards you. I'm not in somebody's space. So I feel like,
you know, I am better in that
scenario. You feel accepted because you're not taking anybody's space in
your own heart. It's not true,
but that's just what your habit is telling you again. And again, you're
repeatedly holding yourself back
because there's a reward associated to it. Everybody has a different
reward. You have to explore what
that reward is, but you have a reward. Yeah. The way to bypass a habit
is to create a new reward
structure. Okay. So let me give you an example.
So for example, you're about to send a message to someone and your
default habit is I'm about
to send a message to someone. So that's the trigger, your behavior that
will show up. Oh no, I don't
think I should send, I'm gonna create space or take space in their life.
And then your reward is, oh, I
didn't send a message. You know, I feel safe. I feel like I didn't take
anybody's space. I feel accepted. So
on, so forth, whatever your, your reward is there. Yeah. What you do is
you set up a new reward, right.
And the new reward is mostly associated with your passion or something
that is more rewarding than
the reward that you get from your default. Right. So from default, you
feel safe. What is more important
to you than safety? Maybe it's curiosity, maybe it's, uh, recognition,
maybe it's visibility. Maybe it is
money. Find that reward, right? Yeah. And now you work backwards from
that reward, right? So you
say, if I want this reward, what is the behavior I must do? Right. And
then what will trigger that
behavior? Right. So say for example, hypothetically, actually, why don't
you tell me what would be a
more interesting reward for you than the reward that you currently get
by doing the behavior of holding
yourself back?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:58:39):
Yeah. I think it's what, what you mentioned
before, like the reward now is, is the comfort,
Coach Ajit (00:58:44):
What is more rewarding to you than comfort?
Veerle (Coachee) (00:58:47):
Um, like having my, my successful business. So
like, well, let's, let's say it in one word, then we could
choose money because that's one of the, yeah. One of the things you need needs for your
business. So
Coach Ajit (00:58:59):
Fantastic. So let's pick money. Money is very
tangible. So it's actually easier to recognize the reward as
well. So that's absolutely
Veerle (Coachee) (00:59:05):
A problem for
Coach Ajit (00:59:06):
That. It's actually great. So let's say money, more
money. That's the, of what we want. Right. What is the
behavior you must do to get more money,
Veerle (Coachee) (00:59:14):
Reach out,
Coach Ajit (00:59:15):
Reach out to people, right? Yeah. How would you
trigger yourself into this behavior? What is it that
needs to happen in your life, around you or with you or within you that will inspire you to say,
screw
this. I'm going to reach out to people.
Veerle (Coachee) (00:59:30):
Mm, yeah. Some something that, that triggers me
that I'm, that I will get the money. Right. Like, I'm just
thinking about what I could be.
Coach Ajit (00:59:39):
Let me give you some examples. Okay. Yeah. So a
trigger can be, I'm gonna stick a piece of paper right in
front of me that says a number that is bloody exciting to me and my behavior. Every time I look
at that
paper is going to be screw this, screw my own belief system. I'm gonna go after what I want.
Yeah. Right.
That could be a trigger. I'm not saying that is your trigger. It could be a trigger. Right. So
the reason why
we are setting up a trigger outside of us, within us, depending on how you're wired. Right. And
you'll
find that trigger again. We, we are limited by time and this opportunity that we have, but what
you're
really looking for is you're identifying that trigger. So that trigger, every time that trigger
happens, you
get into the behavior. And because you'll get into that behavior, you will get the reward.
Now you have to repeat a cycle enough times for it to become a new habit. Right? Yeah. So right
now your default is to go and get comfortable. Right. That's your default and you built it over
however
old you are.
And the reason is because if you do that behavior day after day, week after week, what tends
to
happen is now you are a new being because you don't even recognize your old self. Yeah.
Cause you
you're like, why would I not do it? Like, so it's almost a bypass system. It's not getting
rid of that limiting
belief. That belief is still there and it will show up the day you break your habit. Right.
But the first 90
days, if you can stick with it for 90 days, what will happen is it will almost overpower
your current habit.
So it's almost like you're putting it on top of it. Now. That's why I said, step one, the
first way that be
said to do the heart and meditation, get past that thing, get past that belief. Great.
Because then it's not
even there. Right? So you've taken and shaken this foundation and create a new foundation of
new
habit. Amazing. But if you can do it, if it's taking way too long, you can just build a new
habit on top of
your old habit. And what it will do is it'll empower you to already start taking action
towards the new
you, right? Yeah.
Veerle (Coachee) (01:02:07):
Okay. Yes.
Coach Ajit (01:02:08):
Do you see, do you see what I'm saying?
Veerle (Coachee) (01:02:10):
Yeah.
Coach Ajit (01:02:11):
Yeah. Do you see it working for you?
Veerle (Coachee) (01:02:13):
Yeah. I, I, I, I think so. It's, it's really,
yeah. Kind of like, yeah, exactly what you mentioned getting into
this new habit. Mm-hmm
Coach Ajit (01:02:46):
Veerle (Coachee) (01:03:04):
Like, first of all, finding out, like what was
actually like holding me back and then yeah, because I thought
in the beginning, I thought it was something else then eventually that it was about taking space
and, and
also realizing that it's not just about my business, but it's, it's a pattern that I have in, in
my whole life, basically in everything I do. Um, so I, that realization is already, um, I think
very powerful because that's
of course the first step to realizing that it's there and then, um, yeah, the next steps, what I
can actually
do to, to make that change. Um, yeah. I, I can't wait to just get, get started and, and really
work through
it and, and, and try your suggestions about like the meditation and the 90 day. Um, yeah. Like
changing
that, that habit and, and see how that that's going to, to change. Um, and have that, that,
yeah. That
transformation basically. And I, yeah, I think it's beautiful. How, in such a short time, we
actually, um,
could find that out already and yes, I wish I had more time as well, but, uh, I'm already very
grateful for
this. So, um, so thank you very much for this.
Coach Ajit (01:04:17):
Thank you for taking the time. So really what I wanna
do is I wanna set up some, um, action steps with
you so we can commit to what we invested an hour talking about, that it is revealed to you and
that you
are, you are actually taking action towards it. Would you be open to doing that?
Veerle (Coachee) (01:04:37):
Yes. Yeah. Would you
Coach Ajit (01:04:38):
Be happy to set up an accountability structure between
you and I, where I can actually check on you and
you can check on me or, or work with me and actually following up by saying, Hey, this is all
that is
happening. And this is where I am in my journey. Would you be open to that?
Veerle (Coachee) (01:04:52):
Yes. Yes. Very much. Yeah. Awesome.
Coach Ajit (01:04:53):
Amazing. So I want you to do, um, two things first,
right? So the first action step I want you to take, and I
will send you the recording of this call as well. Once I receive it is I want you to highlight
everything that
happens an hour after this session or two hours after this session, highlight in the sense of
takeaways
throughout the course of our conversation, things that you would like to reflect on. So I want
you to
reflect on all of the conversation, not just the final actions, but the complete conversation.
And the
reason why I want, want you to reflect on that is because our rewiring happens through many
moments
to insights, right? Our, our understanding of the world happens through many moments of insight,
right? Mm-hmm
Yeah, yeah. The big insights will stay, but the small ones where you're like, oh, I have to
think
about that in a different way. Or I could think about this in a different way, or that is
what is coming up
for me. And there's a lot more that will come up for you in the next hour as you breathe in,
and you say,
finally, the guy stopped talking
And it doesn't have to be a long email. It can be just one-liner or two-liner.
Right? You have my
private email address where I send you the invitation from you can send me a daily
email. I may or may not respond. Don't worry about it. The key is to actually get
the email and we can use the same thread.
So I can also monitor your, your entire journey as it happens. Right? Okay. So what
I want you to do is,
so for the next 90 days is to tell me, firstly, if you were able to meditate on, on
your past limiting story,
and if you were able to discover more about it, mm-hmm
Yeah. And then secondly, if you were able to finally able to choose a better
thinking pattern and
choose a habit and create a trigger that was important to you and create a new
behavior and get a new
result, I would love for you to send that to me as well. So there are two things
in the email that I hope to
say part one would be you saying, Hey, I worked on my meditation today. I tried
to find the event. I
found it. I didn't find it. I have forgiven day one done in choosing a different
and a better thinking
pattern that serves me a better reward that serves me. And now I'm doing this
new habit because of
that. Right. And I want you to update me on both of those, if possible, for the
next 90 days, would you
be open to doing that?
Yes. Yeah. I think that's, uh, no, that this is gonna be a public recording. So
everybody gets to see
this. Yeah. Yeah.
Veerle (Coachee) (01:08:26):
Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Coach Ajit (01:08:28):
Thank you so much for taking that time. Really. I'm
looking forward to getting firstly, a feedback on this
entire call on what's coming through you and what's coming, you know, what's become important to
you and secondly, an email for the next 90 days that updates me on what's happening. Okay.
Veerle (Coachee) (01:08:44):
Yes. Thank you so much for what is this section?
And yes, I'm, I'm really excited to see what's going to
happen in the next 90 days as well. I'm going to really reflect, uh, on this first, take it all,
all in. And I feel
like I, I want to just listen to, to the recording again, to even, you know, get, get more
insights and, and
write things down and, and stuff like that. And then, um, yeah, we'll, I will definitely keep
you updated.
Coach Ajit (01:09:09):
Beautiful. Yeah. Now is there a Instagram handle or a
Twitter handle or something you wanna mention
here so people can reach out to you if they wanna talk to you or if you're even open to sharing
that?
Veerle (Coachee) (01:09:20):
Oh yes, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Say it
Coach Ajit (01:09:22):
Out so we can, so people can know where to find you.
Veerle (Coachee) (01:09:25):
Yeah. My Instagram is unpackbyveer. Which you
write "unpack by". And then VEER is the first four
letters of my name, which is V E E R. Um, so unpacked by veer. It's my Instagram. Yeah.
Coach Ajit (01:09:38):
Beautiful.
Veerle (Coachee) (01:09:40):
Well, thank you so much. Great.
Coach Ajit (01:09:41):
Thank you so much. Take care,
Veerle (Coachee) (01:09:43):
Take care. Byebye.
Coach Ajit (01:09:45):
How did you find that coaching session? Wasn't it
amazing? Do you see how you can utilize the same
coaching principles that I shared with will, how I guided her through the conversation for your
own life?
If you find yourself in the same patterns as well? I did. I invite you to try re-listening to
this episode, but
at this point, actually do the exercises with her, actually ask those questions to yourself and
see if you
can reflect on it for you to be able to get past your own fears that maybe stopping you from
being able
to take courageous steps or your own resistance to success, whatever it was that was stopping
you. If
you took the time and reflected on it, I am sure you'll find some new, more interesting
solutions to your
life. Do remember to invest next 60 to 90 days in building a new habit, a new way of
thinking.
So you can also change the way you are approaching life right now in a way that actually is more
congruent to the success that you truly seek in your life. At this point, I really invite you to
leave us a
five-star review. If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a review, tell us what you loved about
it. Tell us
what you would like to see more of every review that you leave for us is a boost of motivation
for us.
Thank you so much for taking those 30 seconds to a minute, to actually give us a five-star
rating and to
write a review on this platform for us also, please share this episode with your fellow coaches.
When our
community shares a relevant episode with the rest of the community, all of us get to learn more
and
more many of us are currently in this trap of not feeling courageous enough in a trap of not
feeling able
to really pursue the ideas and principles that we wanna pursue.
And this episode can really help such individuals. So go ahead and share it with a friend coach
of
yours or somebody in the community that will find this episode useful. Now, to the open question
I had
for you, while you started listening to this episode, did you spot the mistake that I was making
throughout the entire episode? Well, the one mistake that we givers we coaches tend to make a
lot is
what I was doing throughout the episode. You see, I only had an hour with Veerle and I wanted to
change her entire world. In that hour. I wanted to have her go past her belief systems. I wanted
her to
have a habit and a routine. I wanted her to realign with her purpose. I wanted her to organize
her mind.
I wanted her to be really present and I wanted it all in the hour or so that we spent
together.
It was a tall ask and I definitely rushed through the entire coaching session because of that.
One
of the mistakes that we can make is coaches just because we are so hard centered is try to do
more and less time. Coaching takes time, creating a result that is life-altering for a person
takes time. I was trying
to rush through the session. I was trying to cram all of the four parts of the process into an
hour, which
was an impossible ask for somebody I had never even coached before somebody I had just met for
the
first time. If I gave myself more permission to just focus on one thing for the entire episode,
I may have
had even more significant impact on Veerle's life while I'm sure Veerle's life will start to
change with this
coaching session. I could have done better as a coach.
If I focused my attention towards a few insights, few powerful insights and not try to cram in
five
coaching sessions into one, my invitation for you as you go into your coaching sessions is not
to rush
through the coaching session. Don't try to cram in a lot of ideas in the short amount of time
that we
have without clients. I made this mistake while coaching Veerle for this podcast, but I rarely
would make
that mistake when I'm working with my clients. I'm going to be more aware of that in the coming
episodes. I still wanted to share with you what I made as a mistake in this coaching session. So
we can
make this a shared learning experience. Remember, slow down to speed up. When you slow down your
clients, when you slow down yourself, you have a better chance of speeding up the results that
they're
going to get through that coaching session. And with that, thank you so much for listening. This
is Coach
Ajit and you're listening to Master Coaching with Ajit.
Veerle (Coachee) (01:09:20):
Oh yes, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Say it
Coach Ajit (01:09:22):
Out so we can, so people can know where to find you.
Veerle (Coachee) (01:09:25):
Yeah. My Instagram is unpackbyveer. Which you
write "unpack by". And then VEER is the first four
letters of my name, which is V E E R. Um, so unpacked by veer. It's my Instagram. Yeah.